Thinking about our theme on freedom this month drew my thoughts back to rest which interestingly was the theme from last month. Freedom to me means choosing to rest in Jesus all the time no matter what the circumstances are around me.
Recently I had yet another opportunity to choose to either rest in Jesus and find freedom or ignore Him, feel sorry for myself, and give in to the loneliness. Over and over again, I'm reminded that I have a choice to either believe Jesus' promises or not.
This particular time came as I headed home from Wyatt and Laurel's house. I had the privilege of staying with Preston, my 15 1/2 old grandson, for a few days while they were in Colorado. Preston and "Nana" (he can say Nana now, and it melts my heart!) had a wonderful time. It brought back so many memories of those special times with my boys at that age. Reading books, playing, singing and laughing together brought such joy. I'm sure he thought his Nana was pretty silly--I'm such a kid at heart. It was so fun to pray for him while I was with him and wonder what the Lord has planned for my precious little grandson. Anyway, being with him was one of those extra-special blessings from Jesus that I've spoken of often in my blogs--something I will treasure for a long time.
Then it was time to say good-bye and head home. That's when the loneliness for Ty hit again.The tears came as I started home. At that point, I could choose freedom in God's promises or bondage in bitterness. I chose to cry out to Jesus and trust in His promises. He brought these to mind as I talked to Him:
"I will never leave you or forsake you."
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
"And we know that all things work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose."
There were many more He brought to my mind. But the question is, do I believe those promises? Yes, definitely. Do I always feel like they're true? No, but I just keep sharing my heart with my Heavenly Father just like I would have with Ty or a close friend. God is my counselor, protector, and friend. According to His Word, He is also my husband. (Isaiah 54:4,5). Now, since I no longer have Ty to talk to and go to for wisdom and encouragement, I go to the Lord even more. EVERY TIME I choose to seek Him and rely on Him, He gives me peace and joy. Many people ask me how I can have peace and joy in the midst of such loss and sorrow. Honestly, I can't. That comes from Jesus and from Him alone.
Another choice I had as I drove home was to either rejoice as God's Word says (Philippians 4:4) or to complain. I chose to rejoice and thank my Heavenly Father for my current life without Ty. Again, did I feel like rejoicing? No. At the same time I was rejoicing I was also very honest in sharing with the Lord how hard this life is without Ty. I told Him that I would rather be at home with Him and Ty in heaven, but I also agreed with Him that He knows far better than I do what's best for me.
I share these things to encourage those of you who are experiencing much suffering and loss right now. Jesus is there for you too. He's waiting patiently for you to come and talk to Him. He's the best friend you will ever have! When you pray, just be yourself. He loves you just as you are and will give you exactly what you need as you trust Him. That's what He did for me that evening when I got home. Since my love language is words of encouragement I asked Him for some encouraging words. He faithfully brought those words from an article from Dr. David Jeremiah who says, "God will care for us during our time on this earth then He promises to take us to an eternal home where all sorrow is gone and all joy is ours." YEA! (John 14:1-3; Revelation 21:3-4) Just as I mentioned earlier about the importance of believing God's promises--Dr. Jeremiah also said "God makes the promises, but we have to claim them. A promise not claimed and acted upon has the same practical effect as a promise never made. If I promise to help you whenever you call me, but you never call, you never receive the benefit of my promise. God is the Promise Maker. I am the promise claimer."
"All of God's promises are rooted in His character. For instance, 'I will never leave you or forsake you' (Hebrews 13:5) is an explicit promise to all Christians. But God's promise directly to the apostle Paul--"My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9) --is also an implicit promise to believers. Paul spoke for all of us when he said, 'For when I am weak, then I am strong (in Christ). If the power of Christ was available to Paul, it is likewise available to us."
The strength that people see in me comes only from Jesus. In and of myself, I am so weak. It's His strength that keeps me going each day. Dr. Jeremiah's article ended with a truth that is becoming more and more apparent to me everyday; "when we have Jesus Christ we have all we need." And two other encouraging statements the Lord gave me that evening were:
"Instead of kicking the obstacles in your path or picking them up and carrying them, use them to climb higher with God's help." and
"Pain purifies. Pain draws the Christian closer to Jesus Christ. God does not promise to remove our pain, or even to relieve our pain; but He does promise to transform it and use it for His eternal purposes."
As always, my loving Heavenly Father, husband and friend is faithful. There is no greater freedom than trusting Him and knowing that He loves me and will take care of me.
In these uncertain times, I trust that the music video below with the verses
and beautiful pictures of God's creation will renew your hope. Jesus is everything to me; I pray that He is everything to you too. Watch the video a couple times--first to listen to the song and then to read all the verses--they are so encouraging.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Jesus--My Rest
REST for me comes when I give all my concerns to Jesus and trust Him to take care of me. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28: "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you Rest." Busyness is the killer of relationships and also of REST. The world tells us to work all the time so that we can earn more money to buy more stuff which we don't have time to enjoy because we're always working. Why not work less and be content with what you already have and be able to enjoy what really matters--your relationship with Jesus and with family and friends?
I used to believe that more stuff would make me happy and content but instead it only made me want more stuff--this obsessive cycle never stops. Contentment and REST only come when Jesus becomes our obsession. Only He can meet our needs and fill the hole in our hearts that we try to fill up with other things. When I am content, I naturally rejoice in Him more and thank Him for all the little blessings such as my yummy morning coffee, breakfast with friends, time with my family, walks in the country with my dog, Shea, a funny movie, a good book, an encouraging note, beautiful flowers, freshly mowed grass, the birds singing, etc. We have so many things to be thankful for. After my husband Tyler was diagnosed with cancer, we did slow down and enjoy God's blessings so much more. Don't wait until until a cancer diagnosis to relax and enjoy what really matters.
In order to REST in Jesus you have to love Him and in order to love Him you have to understand how much He loves you. I have the following words written (source unknown) in my Bible. Hopefully they will encourage you as they have me.
"Our love for God is always in direct relation to our perception of His love for us. He passionately pursues you and me to sweep us off our feet and convince us of His incredible love. How much does He love us? Enough to die for us. This image tells us of the incredible love of Jesus for you and me. He could have escaped the pain of the cross, and He could have annihilated the entire planet in an instant, but He endured the suffering to glorify God and demonstrate His love for us. The love of God is not just a principle or a theory. It is a powerful life-changing commitment by God to bring us into His arms and restore us to a love relationship with Him."
How awesome is that? What could bring more REST than understanding how much Jesus loves us. Since Ty was diagnosed with cancer over three years ago and went home to be with Jesus last October, I can certainly testify to Jesus' love and faithfulness. I could not have made it without Him. I miss Ty so much and wish every day that he would walk back into my life, but Jesus continues to be more than enough. I am amazed each day at the peace--Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus"--and joy that He gives me as I choose to rejoice in Him and praise Him. As hard as it is for me to continue on here without Ty, I REST in Jesus' perfect plan for me. He gave me encouragement this morning in Habakkuk 3:18-19. "Yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights." The commentary further explains:
"Habakkuk had asked God why evil people prosper while the righteous suffer. God's answer: they don't, not in the long run. Habakkuk saw his own limitations in contrast to God's unlimited control of all the world's events. We cannot see all that God is doing, and we cannot see all that God will do, but we can be assured that He is God and will do what is right. Knowing this can give us confidence and hope in a confusing world."
Yes, we all face an uncertain future, but we can REST in our unchanging Savior and God. Keep seeking Him. He is forever faithful.
The song below by musical group 'Phillips, Craig and Dean' sums up the recent past for me. I stand in awe of my Savior, Jesus. I'm so thankful for His faithfulness to me. As the song says: "Jesus, I am so in love with You."
I used to believe that more stuff would make me happy and content but instead it only made me want more stuff--this obsessive cycle never stops. Contentment and REST only come when Jesus becomes our obsession. Only He can meet our needs and fill the hole in our hearts that we try to fill up with other things. When I am content, I naturally rejoice in Him more and thank Him for all the little blessings such as my yummy morning coffee, breakfast with friends, time with my family, walks in the country with my dog, Shea, a funny movie, a good book, an encouraging note, beautiful flowers, freshly mowed grass, the birds singing, etc. We have so many things to be thankful for. After my husband Tyler was diagnosed with cancer, we did slow down and enjoy God's blessings so much more. Don't wait until until a cancer diagnosis to relax and enjoy what really matters.
In order to REST in Jesus you have to love Him and in order to love Him you have to understand how much He loves you. I have the following words written (source unknown) in my Bible. Hopefully they will encourage you as they have me.
"Our love for God is always in direct relation to our perception of His love for us. He passionately pursues you and me to sweep us off our feet and convince us of His incredible love. How much does He love us? Enough to die for us. This image tells us of the incredible love of Jesus for you and me. He could have escaped the pain of the cross, and He could have annihilated the entire planet in an instant, but He endured the suffering to glorify God and demonstrate His love for us. The love of God is not just a principle or a theory. It is a powerful life-changing commitment by God to bring us into His arms and restore us to a love relationship with Him."
How awesome is that? What could bring more REST than understanding how much Jesus loves us. Since Ty was diagnosed with cancer over three years ago and went home to be with Jesus last October, I can certainly testify to Jesus' love and faithfulness. I could not have made it without Him. I miss Ty so much and wish every day that he would walk back into my life, but Jesus continues to be more than enough. I am amazed each day at the peace--Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus"--and joy that He gives me as I choose to rejoice in Him and praise Him. As hard as it is for me to continue on here without Ty, I REST in Jesus' perfect plan for me. He gave me encouragement this morning in Habakkuk 3:18-19. "Yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights." The commentary further explains:
"Habakkuk had asked God why evil people prosper while the righteous suffer. God's answer: they don't, not in the long run. Habakkuk saw his own limitations in contrast to God's unlimited control of all the world's events. We cannot see all that God is doing, and we cannot see all that God will do, but we can be assured that He is God and will do what is right. Knowing this can give us confidence and hope in a confusing world."
Yes, we all face an uncertain future, but we can REST in our unchanging Savior and God. Keep seeking Him. He is forever faithful.
The song below by musical group 'Phillips, Craig and Dean' sums up the recent past for me. I stand in awe of my Savior, Jesus. I'm so thankful for His faithfulness to me. As the song says: "Jesus, I am so in love with You."
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Coffee with Jesus
As I was seeking direction for what God wanted me to share on prayer this month, He gave me this acrostic for PRAYER. Below are the things He takes me through every morning when I grab my cup of coffee, Bible and journal and sit down for a visit with Jesus.
P Praising God for His unconditional love, for sending His Son to die on the cross for my sins and for never leaving my side.
God's promise is: Hebrews 13:5
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
R Relying on Jesus when I don't have the strength to go on , and life seems so hard.
God's promise is: Philippians 4:13
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
A Asking Jesus for wisdom when I don't know what to do next.
God's promise is: Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your
ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."
Y Yearning to know Jesus better and love Him more every day.
God's promise is: Jeremiah 29:13
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
E Enjoying an intimate, personal relationship with Jesus that brings peace and hope even when my heart is breaking, and I long for my forever home in Heaven.
God's promise is: John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid."
R Remembering that I'm never alone even when I feel completely overwhelmed and lonely on this new journey without my husband, Ty.
God's promise is: Isaiah 41:13
"For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not
fear; I will help you."
Prayer for me is visiting with my Heavenly Father who is also my best friend. The visits are longer and more frequent now because I no longer have Ty here to visit with. Jesus fills the hole in my heart that Ty has left. It is such a blessing to visit with Jesus about everything. I choose to praise Him every morning when I wake up whether I feel like it or not. I go to Him when I'm weary and it is there that I find rest.
My favorite time of the day is those early morning visits when I have "coffee with Jesus". I share my heart with Him knowing that He is never too busy to listen. He loves me so much. From our visits together He gives me hope through the promises in His Word. Those same promises gave Ty and I strength to keep going each day during the 2 1/2 year cancer journey and continue to bring me hope and encouragement each day now. I am so thankful for my Savior. He is forever faithful.
I leave you with a video of the song, Praise you in this Storm. It was a song that Ty and I listened to often, especially on the really tough days. It always helped us to continue to praise our Lord and rest in Him. I heard it again this week and wanted to share it with you. I hope it will encourage each of you as you face storms in your own lives. At one point the song says, "Every tear I've cried, You held in your hand. You never left my side". Know this is true for you just as it has been true for me.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Heaven, My Forever Home
Resurrection and new life; both of those things make me think of heaven. I was reading this week in a memory book that Ty filled out for our sons during the years he had cancer. I can only read in it a little at a time because reading his words makes him seem so close and makes me miss him more. In the book, Ty said, "When I think about the future I anticipate eternity in heaven with Christ. The future has come into much clearer focus. I continue to trust the Lord. My outlook on the future is hopeful because of Christ in whom I hope. The circumstances of this life are not hopeful, but I am thankful to be able to hope in Christ." Ty wrote in this memory book most often when he was sitting for hours getting chemo. How could he have such hope? John 14:1-3 explains why: "Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also." Ty had hope even in dying because of his relationship with Jesus, and now he is enjoying his "forever home" with Him in heaven. As I anticipate Easter it brings such joy to celebrate not only the resurrection of Jesus but also Ty's new life in heaven.
Not only does Ty have a new life in heaven, but I have a new life here too. Tammy Trent, whose husband Trent died in a diving accident, expresses my thoughts very well in her book, "Beyond the Sorrow". She says, "When I first lost Trent, I felt like the whole world was moving on and that I was floating outside of it, just trying to find my place. After awhile, it seemed like I gently fell back to the earth, and when my feet touched the hard ground I met Jesus there--waiting for me. After floods of tears, I trusted God with my emotions. I had no doubt He cared, and through His love I discovered who I really was. I looked at myself as if from the outside, and I saw a little girl whose life was just beginning again. When our picture perfect life comes crashing down, the truth of God's love and promises will carry us through. Seasons change. Seasons of life move along. Each new one draws us out of the old one. I'm coming to life again. My confession of faith is like a battle. I raise a clenched fist and declare, Yes! Yes, I will fight the lies of the enemy--defeat, depression. Yes, Lord, I will be a survivor. My battle cry is Yes!"
I told someone recently that according to Psalm 56:8 those floods of tears that Tammy talked about are being collected in a bottle in heaven. The Life Application Bible notes for that verse bring me such hope: Even in our deepest sorrow, God cares! Jesus reminded us further of how much God understands us--He knows even the number of hairs on our heads (Matthew 10:30). Often we waver between faith and fear. When you feel so discouraged that you are sure no one understands, remember that God knows every problem and sees every tear."
Yes, the tears continue to come, but I look forward to my "forever home" in heaven after this temporary life here. I'm encouraged by these verses about heaven from Revelation 21:3-4 "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." How awesome is that--no more tears, death, sorrow or dying, and I will get to see Jesus, Ty and many others who knew Jesus as their personal Savior and friend.
Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song called "See" after his daughter was killed a few years ago. Listening to the lyrics was like Ty talking to me from heaven. As I listened it was as if he was saying,
"See, it's everything you said that it would be
and even better than you would believe.
I'm counting down the days 'til you're here with me,
and finally you will see"
Oh, how I'm anticipating that day. I can't wait! But for now God is enough for me in my new life here on earth without my sweetheart. Until that day I will choose to rejoice in Him one day at a time.
Every morning God reminds me to TRUST Him. Another
Steven Curtis Chapman song, "I Will Trust You" expresses my thoughts exactly as one of the lines say, "I know that His plans for me are much better than my own." (Jeremiah 29:11) I will choose to trust Him every day until THAT day when I see Him face to face in heaven, my "forever home".
You can listen to Steven Curtis Chapman's song "See" below, as well as watch his "I Will Trust You" music videos. I've pasted the words below each video for you. Let me know if they bless you as much as they have blessed me.
Right now all I can taste are bitter tears
And right now all I can see are clouds of sorrow
But from the other side of all this pain
Is that you I hear, laughing loud and calling out to me?
Saying "See, it's everything you said that it would be,
And even better than you would believe.
And I'm counting down the days until you're here with me,
And finally, you'll see."
But right now, all I can say is "Lord, how long
Before you come and take away this aching?"
This night of weeping seems to have no end.
But when the morning light breaks through,
We'll open up our eyes and we will see
It's everything that He said that it would be
And even better than we would believe
And he's counting down the days 'til He says "Come with me."
And finally he'll wipe every tear from our eyes
And make everything new, just like he promised
Wait and see, just wait and see, wait and see
And I'm counting down the days until I see
It's everything He said that it would be
And even better than we would believe
And I'm counting down the days 'til He says, "Come with me."
And finally, we'll see. We will see.
Oh taste and see that the Lord is good, the Lord is good
The Lord is good. Oh taste and see that the Lord is good
The Lord is good.
I don't even wanna breathe right now
All I wanna do is close my eyes
But I don't wanna open them again
Until I'm standing on the other side
I don't even wanna be right now
I don't wanna think another thought
And I don't wanna feel this pain I feel
And right now, pain is all I've got
It feels like it's all I've got, but I know it's not
No, I know You're all I've got
And I will trust You, I'll trust You
Trust You, God, I will
Even when I don't understand, even then I will say again
You are my God, and I will trust You
God, I'm longing for the day to come
When this cloudy glass I'm looking through
Is shattered in a million pieces
And finally I can just see You
God, You know I believe it's true
I know I will see You
But until the day I do
I will trust You, trust You
Trust You, God, I will
Even when I don't understand
Even then I will say again
You are my God, and I'll trust You
And with every breath I take
And for every day that breaks
I will trust You
I will trust You
And when nothing is making sense
Even then I will say again
God, I trust You
I will trust You
I know Your heart is good
I know Your love is strong
And I know Your plans for me
Are much better than my own
So I will trust You, trust You
I trust You, God, I do
Even when I can't see the end
And I will trust You
I will trust You, I will
Even when I don't understand
Even then I will say again
Not only does Ty have a new life in heaven, but I have a new life here too. Tammy Trent, whose husband Trent died in a diving accident, expresses my thoughts very well in her book, "Beyond the Sorrow". She says, "When I first lost Trent, I felt like the whole world was moving on and that I was floating outside of it, just trying to find my place. After awhile, it seemed like I gently fell back to the earth, and when my feet touched the hard ground I met Jesus there--waiting for me. After floods of tears, I trusted God with my emotions. I had no doubt He cared, and through His love I discovered who I really was. I looked at myself as if from the outside, and I saw a little girl whose life was just beginning again. When our picture perfect life comes crashing down, the truth of God's love and promises will carry us through. Seasons change. Seasons of life move along. Each new one draws us out of the old one. I'm coming to life again. My confession of faith is like a battle. I raise a clenched fist and declare, Yes! Yes, I will fight the lies of the enemy--defeat, depression. Yes, Lord, I will be a survivor. My battle cry is Yes!"
I told someone recently that according to Psalm 56:8 those floods of tears that Tammy talked about are being collected in a bottle in heaven. The Life Application Bible notes for that verse bring me such hope: Even in our deepest sorrow, God cares! Jesus reminded us further of how much God understands us--He knows even the number of hairs on our heads (Matthew 10:30). Often we waver between faith and fear. When you feel so discouraged that you are sure no one understands, remember that God knows every problem and sees every tear."
Yes, the tears continue to come, but I look forward to my "forever home" in heaven after this temporary life here. I'm encouraged by these verses about heaven from Revelation 21:3-4 "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." How awesome is that--no more tears, death, sorrow or dying, and I will get to see Jesus, Ty and many others who knew Jesus as their personal Savior and friend.
Steven Curtis Chapman wrote a song called "See" after his daughter was killed a few years ago. Listening to the lyrics was like Ty talking to me from heaven. As I listened it was as if he was saying,
"See, it's everything you said that it would be
and even better than you would believe.
I'm counting down the days 'til you're here with me,
and finally you will see"
Oh, how I'm anticipating that day. I can't wait! But for now God is enough for me in my new life here on earth without my sweetheart. Until that day I will choose to rejoice in Him one day at a time.
Every morning God reminds me to TRUST Him. Another
Steven Curtis Chapman song, "I Will Trust You" expresses my thoughts exactly as one of the lines say, "I know that His plans for me are much better than my own." (Jeremiah 29:11) I will choose to trust Him every day until THAT day when I see Him face to face in heaven, my "forever home".
You can listen to Steven Curtis Chapman's song "See" below, as well as watch his "I Will Trust You" music videos. I've pasted the words below each video for you. Let me know if they bless you as much as they have blessed me.
Right now all I can taste are bitter tears
And right now all I can see are clouds of sorrow
But from the other side of all this pain
Is that you I hear, laughing loud and calling out to me?
Saying "See, it's everything you said that it would be,
And even better than you would believe.
And I'm counting down the days until you're here with me,
And finally, you'll see."
But right now, all I can say is "Lord, how long
Before you come and take away this aching?"
This night of weeping seems to have no end.
But when the morning light breaks through,
We'll open up our eyes and we will see
It's everything that He said that it would be
And even better than we would believe
And he's counting down the days 'til He says "Come with me."
And finally he'll wipe every tear from our eyes
And make everything new, just like he promised
Wait and see, just wait and see, wait and see
And I'm counting down the days until I see
It's everything He said that it would be
And even better than we would believe
And I'm counting down the days 'til He says, "Come with me."
And finally, we'll see. We will see.
Oh taste and see that the Lord is good, the Lord is good
The Lord is good. Oh taste and see that the Lord is good
The Lord is good.
I don't even wanna breathe right now
All I wanna do is close my eyes
But I don't wanna open them again
Until I'm standing on the other side
I don't even wanna be right now
I don't wanna think another thought
And I don't wanna feel this pain I feel
And right now, pain is all I've got
It feels like it's all I've got, but I know it's not
No, I know You're all I've got
And I will trust You, I'll trust You
Trust You, God, I will
Even when I don't understand, even then I will say again
You are my God, and I will trust You
God, I'm longing for the day to come
When this cloudy glass I'm looking through
Is shattered in a million pieces
And finally I can just see You
God, You know I believe it's true
I know I will see You
But until the day I do
I will trust You, trust You
Trust You, God, I will
Even when I don't understand
Even then I will say again
You are my God, and I'll trust You
And with every breath I take
And for every day that breaks
I will trust You
I will trust You
And when nothing is making sense
Even then I will say again
God, I trust You
I will trust You
I know Your heart is good
I know Your love is strong
And I know Your plans for me
Are much better than my own
So I will trust You, trust You
I trust You, God, I do
Even when I can't see the end
And I will trust You
I will trust You, I will
Even when I don't understand
Even then I will say again
Thursday, March 18, 2010
God's Personal Reminders (Part Two)
Now for the rest of the story....Two weeks after my day of personal reminders in Hutchinson, I found myself struggling once again. This time I struggled with past failures, mainly things I wished I had done differently or even how I could have done better at caring for Ty's needs. This particular morning I felt like God had abandoned me. He felt so far away. Then, He led me once again to Dee Brestin's book, "The God of All Comfort". I opened it to the place I had read last. I was surprised (and yet I wasn't) when I read,
'I would do things differently if I had them to do again.'
'I was motivated, at least in part, by selfishness.'
I'll insert here that I was amazed as I read Dee's thoughts because I could have written them myself. It helped me so so much to have the Lord point out through Dee's story that I was not alone--that she had experienced exactly what I was going through. Dee goes on to say that those poisonous arrows also carry an enormous lie. The lie is because of my stupidity and selfishness, I have been abandoned by God. You and I know that we are not abandoned, even if we deserve it and even if our feelings scream that we have been abandoned. Jesus was abandoned so that we would never be.
Pastor Tim Keller says that the biggest problem during times of dryness is that we say, "I think God has finally given up on me. He's not there. Makes sense. I'm an idiot. I've been a failure. I'm inadequate. He's abandoned me." But that is not true! When our heart wavers, we must speak the truth to our souls for that is the only antidote to the enemy's poison. We must do what the Psalmist did, "No!" says the psalmist to his heart. "I will yet praise Him. He's a loving and gracious God." How can we know that for certain? Keller says, "Don't you see? Jesus Christ really experienced not just the loss of the feeling of God, He lost God. He was really forsaken by God. Why? So that despite your failures and your inadequacies, God will never give up on you."
God is there even if you don't sense Him. As Samuel Rutherford said, "Trust God's Word and His power more than you trust your own feelings and experiences. Remember, your Rock is Christ, and it is the sea that ebbs and flows with the tides, not Him." The rope we must cling to, the one that will never break, is the truth of God's Word, and God says He will never leave us or forsake us. It may feel like the streams of living water have dried up, but they have not.
Wow! Just like two weeks earlier on my trip to Hutchinson, Jesus was once again giving me personal reminders of His love and faithfulness in my darkest hours. First, He used two special women (Part One of God's Personal Reminders) to bless me with Dee Brestin's book and Bible study, and then He used Dee Brestin herself, a woman I have never met, to speak directly to my heart. Dee had lived what I'm now going through. By sharing what Jesus taught her during her dark days Dee is now influencing my life in huge ways.
I pray that those of you like me, who have at times felt abandoned by God, may be encouraged to know that you're not alone. You're not the only one who has those feelings. You're not crazy or abnormal. Don't listen to Satan's lies. Go back to the truth--the truth of God's character. Remember, God has promised, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5b. Do what the Psalmist did in the final verses of Psalm 42 and 43. "Put your HOPE in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." Don't give up. Seek Him. He is faithful and is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us...Ephesians 4:20.
One last reminder I want to leave with you is that Jesus loves you. He died for you and He wants a personal, intimate relationship with you. He is the only one who will never let you down. Take some time to read the Gospel of John. There you will find God's very own personal reminder of His great love for you through His Son, Jesus Christ.
In times of spiritual dryness we need to focus not on our feelings, which are fickle, but on God, who is not. God can use our emotions for His glory, but when grief and fear are clouding our perspective and we focus on our feelings instead of God, the enemy has us exactly where He wants us. He whispers lies: "You don't feel Him [God] because He's gone. He's abandoned you." It's during these dry times that the enemy may also parade our sins or poor decisions before us, for he is the accuser.
After the loss of her husband the enemy haunted Dee with, "Why did you ever leave his side? Why didn't you sleep next to him on the floor at the end? He needed you and you weren't there. Why didn't you believe he was dying when so many people told you he was?" She goes on to say that all of these arrows have enough truth in them to hit their mark, which is what makes the accuser's poison so potent.
Her examples of those poisonous arrows:
'There were definitely times I let Steve(her husband) down.''I would do things differently if I had them to do again.'
'I was motivated, at least in part, by selfishness.'
I'll insert here that I was amazed as I read Dee's thoughts because I could have written them myself. It helped me so so much to have the Lord point out through Dee's story that I was not alone--that she had experienced exactly what I was going through. Dee goes on to say that those poisonous arrows also carry an enormous lie. The lie is because of my stupidity and selfishness, I have been abandoned by God. You and I know that we are not abandoned, even if we deserve it and even if our feelings scream that we have been abandoned. Jesus was abandoned so that we would never be.
Pastor Tim Keller says that the biggest problem during times of dryness is that we say, "I think God has finally given up on me. He's not there. Makes sense. I'm an idiot. I've been a failure. I'm inadequate. He's abandoned me." But that is not true! When our heart wavers, we must speak the truth to our souls for that is the only antidote to the enemy's poison. We must do what the Psalmist did, "No!" says the psalmist to his heart. "I will yet praise Him. He's a loving and gracious God." How can we know that for certain? Keller says, "Don't you see? Jesus Christ really experienced not just the loss of the feeling of God, He lost God. He was really forsaken by God. Why? So that despite your failures and your inadequacies, God will never give up on you."
God is there even if you don't sense Him. As Samuel Rutherford said, "Trust God's Word and His power more than you trust your own feelings and experiences. Remember, your Rock is Christ, and it is the sea that ebbs and flows with the tides, not Him." The rope we must cling to, the one that will never break, is the truth of God's Word, and God says He will never leave us or forsake us. It may feel like the streams of living water have dried up, but they have not.
Wow! Just like two weeks earlier on my trip to Hutchinson, Jesus was once again giving me personal reminders of His love and faithfulness in my darkest hours. First, He used two special women (Part One of God's Personal Reminders) to bless me with Dee Brestin's book and Bible study, and then He used Dee Brestin herself, a woman I have never met, to speak directly to my heart. Dee had lived what I'm now going through. By sharing what Jesus taught her during her dark days Dee is now influencing my life in huge ways.
I pray that those of you like me, who have at times felt abandoned by God, may be encouraged to know that you're not alone. You're not the only one who has those feelings. You're not crazy or abnormal. Don't listen to Satan's lies. Go back to the truth--the truth of God's character. Remember, God has promised, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5b. Do what the Psalmist did in the final verses of Psalm 42 and 43. "Put your HOPE in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." Don't give up. Seek Him. He is faithful and is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us...Ephesians 4:20.
One last reminder I want to leave with you is that Jesus loves you. He died for you and He wants a personal, intimate relationship with you. He is the only one who will never let you down. Take some time to read the Gospel of John. There you will find God's very own personal reminder of His great love for you through His Son, Jesus Christ.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
God's Personal Reminders - (Part One)
Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you that hope in the Lord. Psalm 31:24
February has been the hardest month for me since Ty's death. The hole in my heart that I talked about in my previous blog just seemed to get bigger. However, Jesus proves Himself faithful to me many times over in many different ways. Lately it has been the influence of different people which He has used to remind me of His faithfulness to me. You might call these my personal reminders
One particularly hard day comes to mind. I had headed to Hutchinson, which is about 40 miles away, for a couple appointments. It was a very melancholy day. I was so lonely for Ty and kept wishing I could call him and visit like I always used to do on my trips to town. I stopped for breakfast at The Dutch Kitchen, one of Ty and my favorite places. As a family, we have many special memories there. My boys love their cinnamon rolls heated up with lots of butter! I always miss Ty when I stop there, but I still feel at home because of the many friendships we've made. In fact, when Ty and I had stopped there just 10 days before he had died, he said as we were leaving, "Honey, I feel like I should be telling everyone good-bye." How right he was.
Now here I was, just a few months later enjoying my breakfast alone at our favorite restaurant. On this particular day I seemed to notice more than usual the older couples that came in. Ty and I used to joke about getting old together and coming to Dutch Kitchen with our walkers. I was reminded once again that we can make our plans, but the final outcome is in God's hands.
As I continued on to my appointments I seem to be constantly reminded that I was no longer a part of a “couple”. Throughout the day I heard about two couples who had taken or were planning trips to Las Vegas and the Bahamas. Even though I am surrounded by many friends and family who love me, I no longer have my sweetheart to do things with. There's no one who could ever replace Ty. I couldn't think about him that day without getting teary. Running the risk of looking like Rudolph with a bright red nose I decided to try to push all thoughts and memories of Ty aside while I finished my errands.
The loneliness continued to be extreme. I didn't even feel like talking to Jesus except to say, " This is so hard, Jesus. Please help me to want to keep going. I want so badly to be home in heaven with you and Ty." I told Him that I knew He was now my husband but that I really needed some reminders that He hadn't forgotten about me.
His first reminder came as I headed home and stopped at a little store outside of Hutch to look for a birthday card for my son, Yance. I hadn't been able to find one I liked at any other store that day. As I was checking out with the card, one of the girls who works there gave me a Valentine's gift bag. How sweet is that? She said that her mother, who is the owner of the store, wanted me to have it. I understood then why I couldn't find a card someplace else--the Lord knew I needed to stop there. When I got back to my car, I opened my gift and found Dee Brestin's Bible study called “The God of All Comfort." I thought, "God, you are so amazing!" A few weeks earlier I had received a book by the same name from a dear friend. Now I had the companion Bible study guide to go with the book which had already brought me such great comfort. Dee Brestin’s husband had also died of cancer. Our stories being very similar, I had found strength in the things she shared from her book.
God’s second reminder came as I started to put in the music CD that was included with the study guide and noticed that it was 6 p.m. That's when Chip Ingram speaks on Living on the Edge, one of my favorite radio Bible programs. I couldn't believe it when I turned it on and found that Chip's message that evening was to encourage those who were suffering. The Lord had that perfectly timed for me. My ride home from there was 30 minutes, and that's exactly how long the program was. One of the things that stood out in the message is that it's okay to cry out to God and express our anger, frustration, loneliness and hurt. He's big enough to handle it. That day I needed that reminder because I was keeping my emotions bottled up instead of expressing them to Jesus who wants to listen, lift my burdens and give me peace and strength.
God’s third reminder came when I got home and brought in the mail. There was a Valentine's card from a precious couple. The front read, "To Someone Very Special". Inside was a handwritten reminder that they were praying for me. The sentiment in the card made me smile and again marvel at my wonderful Savior as I thought about my prayer earlier in the day about wanting to be reminded that He still cared. The inside message also read, "May God's blessings shine on your life today and cause your heart to know how much you're loved and how much He cares. May His blessings grow and grow."
The reminders continued that evening as the phone rang a few minutes before I was heading to bed. It was Yance just calling to check in and say “I love you." As I shared the day’s events with him I told him that he was my fourth reminder of the day that God cared.
God is so good. He always knows what we need and as we cry out to Him in our weakest moments He uses others to remind us of His great love for us. Those reminders are His special and personal blessings to us. As I went to bed that night I was still very lonely for Ty, but God had reminded me again that he had used the influence of special people in my life to remind me that He hadn’t forgotten me.
My prayer for each of you is that just as Jesus was faithful to remind me of His love, you too will be reminded that He will never leave you nor forsake you. Cry out to Him. He will show you His love in unbelievable ways. He just might bring you some special “reminders” through some very special people. I hope I have been just the first of many.
February has been the hardest month for me since Ty's death. The hole in my heart that I talked about in my previous blog just seemed to get bigger. However, Jesus proves Himself faithful to me many times over in many different ways. Lately it has been the influence of different people which He has used to remind me of His faithfulness to me. You might call these my personal reminders
One particularly hard day comes to mind. I had headed to Hutchinson, which is about 40 miles away, for a couple appointments. It was a very melancholy day. I was so lonely for Ty and kept wishing I could call him and visit like I always used to do on my trips to town. I stopped for breakfast at The Dutch Kitchen, one of Ty and my favorite places. As a family, we have many special memories there. My boys love their cinnamon rolls heated up with lots of butter! I always miss Ty when I stop there, but I still feel at home because of the many friendships we've made. In fact, when Ty and I had stopped there just 10 days before he had died, he said as we were leaving, "Honey, I feel like I should be telling everyone good-bye." How right he was.
Now here I was, just a few months later enjoying my breakfast alone at our favorite restaurant. On this particular day I seemed to notice more than usual the older couples that came in. Ty and I used to joke about getting old together and coming to Dutch Kitchen with our walkers. I was reminded once again that we can make our plans, but the final outcome is in God's hands.
As I continued on to my appointments I seem to be constantly reminded that I was no longer a part of a “couple”. Throughout the day I heard about two couples who had taken or were planning trips to Las Vegas and the Bahamas. Even though I am surrounded by many friends and family who love me, I no longer have my sweetheart to do things with. There's no one who could ever replace Ty. I couldn't think about him that day without getting teary. Running the risk of looking like Rudolph with a bright red nose I decided to try to push all thoughts and memories of Ty aside while I finished my errands.
The loneliness continued to be extreme. I didn't even feel like talking to Jesus except to say, " This is so hard, Jesus. Please help me to want to keep going. I want so badly to be home in heaven with you and Ty." I told Him that I knew He was now my husband but that I really needed some reminders that He hadn't forgotten about me.
His first reminder came as I headed home and stopped at a little store outside of Hutch to look for a birthday card for my son, Yance. I hadn't been able to find one I liked at any other store that day. As I was checking out with the card, one of the girls who works there gave me a Valentine's gift bag. How sweet is that? She said that her mother, who is the owner of the store, wanted me to have it. I understood then why I couldn't find a card someplace else--the Lord knew I needed to stop there. When I got back to my car, I opened my gift and found Dee Brestin's Bible study called “The God of All Comfort." I thought, "God, you are so amazing!" A few weeks earlier I had received a book by the same name from a dear friend. Now I had the companion Bible study guide to go with the book which had already brought me such great comfort. Dee Brestin’s husband had also died of cancer. Our stories being very similar, I had found strength in the things she shared from her book.
God’s second reminder came as I started to put in the music CD that was included with the study guide and noticed that it was 6 p.m. That's when Chip Ingram speaks on Living on the Edge, one of my favorite radio Bible programs. I couldn't believe it when I turned it on and found that Chip's message that evening was to encourage those who were suffering. The Lord had that perfectly timed for me. My ride home from there was 30 minutes, and that's exactly how long the program was. One of the things that stood out in the message is that it's okay to cry out to God and express our anger, frustration, loneliness and hurt. He's big enough to handle it. That day I needed that reminder because I was keeping my emotions bottled up instead of expressing them to Jesus who wants to listen, lift my burdens and give me peace and strength.
God’s third reminder came when I got home and brought in the mail. There was a Valentine's card from a precious couple. The front read, "To Someone Very Special". Inside was a handwritten reminder that they were praying for me. The sentiment in the card made me smile and again marvel at my wonderful Savior as I thought about my prayer earlier in the day about wanting to be reminded that He still cared. The inside message also read, "May God's blessings shine on your life today and cause your heart to know how much you're loved and how much He cares. May His blessings grow and grow."
The reminders continued that evening as the phone rang a few minutes before I was heading to bed. It was Yance just calling to check in and say “I love you." As I shared the day’s events with him I told him that he was my fourth reminder of the day that God cared.
God is so good. He always knows what we need and as we cry out to Him in our weakest moments He uses others to remind us of His great love for us. Those reminders are His special and personal blessings to us. As I went to bed that night I was still very lonely for Ty, but God had reminded me again that he had used the influence of special people in my life to remind me that He hadn’t forgotten me.
My prayer for each of you is that just as Jesus was faithful to remind me of His love, you too will be reminded that He will never leave you nor forsake you. Cry out to Him. He will show you His love in unbelievable ways. He just might bring you some special “reminders” through some very special people. I hope I have been just the first of many.
Check back soon for the rest of the story (Part Two) to "God's Personal Reminders"
Monday, February 1, 2010
God Mends Hearts
I have a hole in my heart. My husband, sweetheart, and best friend Tyler, took a part of my heart with him when he died last October. I asked him often during our cancer journey how I would be able to go on with part of my heart missing. He always said what we both knew--"God will fill the hole." I have found that to be true, not just once, but many times. The loneliness that I feel for Ty at times is so extreme that it's hard to describe. It is something I had never felt before, a deep emotional, as well as physical pain. The first time I experienced it my heart hurt so badly that I thought I was having a heart attack. I've felt it many times since. It's at those times that I cry out to Jesus and ask Him to help me--to give me something to hang on to because I absolutely have no strength to keep going. He then reminds me that when I am weak, He is strong and that He is always faithful to His promises.
An example of that is one night, soon after Ty's death. I was missing Ty so much as I went to bed. I felt very weak and alone as I cried out to Jesus and asked Him how I was going to make it without my wonderful husband. It was sinking in that I really wouldn't see Ty again until Jesus was ready to take me home to heaven. Because God's Word says that 'when we seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him' (Jeremiah 29:13) I sought Him that night to give me some encouragement from His Word. He led me to Isaiah 54:5 which says
"For your Maker is your husband--the Lord Almighty is His name, the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth."
WOW!! What a comfort that was--my God is not only my Father but a husband to me as well. And He had just lovingly led me to a verse that I had never noticed before. Our Lord always knows just what we need.
Recently, God once again revealed His faithful love to me. Ty and I had always enjoyed Sundays. We both loved going to Sunday School and church to fellowship with many friends and to be
taught and challenged from God's Word. We usually spent the rest of the day together reading, watching sports, doing chores, checking the cows, taking a walk or visiting family and friends. On this particular Sunday, my son Yance and his bride to be, Elaine, who had been visiting for the weekend, left for school after church. I spent alot of my afternoon reading and studying God's Word as well as journaling. It was an afternoon of remembering all the fun times Ty and I had together and being thankful for the years God had given us. I was reminded that the days you have with your spouse, children, and friends are so special. You need to savor each one and realize that someday there may not be a next day to do or say all the things you've been putting off. I was regretting not expressing more often to Ty how much I appreciated him; that I didn't spend even more time just sitting and visiting with him when he was still able to do so.
That evening I went to care groups for a time of fellowship with some people from our church. Driving back home was hard knowing that once again Ty would not be there. It did make me smile to think of Shea (my dog) waiting at home to greet me. But even that thought brought tears as I thought of Ty getting her for me earlier that year. He said that he knew I would need her to keep me company if Jesus took him home. Ty always knew what was best for me--Shea has been a blessing and has made coming home alone easier.
As I headed to bed that night my heart was heavy with all the things that I wished I could tell Ty. I was focusing on the regrets I had and being very hard on myself. I was so lonely for Ty. But I chose to once again reach out to Jesus. He led me to a favorite devotional book called Come Away My Beloved then to the chapter titled "I Joy Over You" Jesus used the following words to speak to my heart:
"My child, My little one, My under-sheperd. My dear friend. My love for you is deep and tender.
I love you because you are my child. I love you because I am your Father. I love you with Calvary love. At a great price I redeemed you--because I have always loved you.
Draw near to Me without spoiling the preciousness of our fellowship with the shadows of self-condemnation.
You are mine and I joy over you. Let the peace of God rule in your heart and mind, and be filled with thanksgiving."
I cried as I read His personal message to me. He gave me peace as I asked for His forgiveness for all those regrets. Once again I was reminded of God's great love for me, that He would never leave me nor forsake me; that He is my Father and my husband. God was, at that moment, filling my heart with Himself. Ty was so right when he had told me that God would fill the hole in my heart after he was gone.
"Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts
is a unique Christian book which beckons you to sit at God's feet and hear His voice. It calls you to come away and meet your loving heavenly Father in the pages of an evocative devotional. For over thirty years this book has nestled into the lives of thousands, touching seekers with a quiet power and moving believers to live more fully for a holy Savior.
If interesed in this book you can order it through christianbook.com.
An example of that is one night, soon after Ty's death. I was missing Ty so much as I went to bed. I felt very weak and alone as I cried out to Jesus and asked Him how I was going to make it without my wonderful husband. It was sinking in that I really wouldn't see Ty again until Jesus was ready to take me home to heaven. Because God's Word says that 'when we seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him' (Jeremiah 29:13) I sought Him that night to give me some encouragement from His Word. He led me to Isaiah 54:5 which says
"For your Maker is your husband--the Lord Almighty is His name, the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth."
WOW!! What a comfort that was--my God is not only my Father but a husband to me as well. And He had just lovingly led me to a verse that I had never noticed before. Our Lord always knows just what we need.
Recently, God once again revealed His faithful love to me. Ty and I had always enjoyed Sundays. We both loved going to Sunday School and church to fellowship with many friends and to be
taught and challenged from God's Word. We usually spent the rest of the day together reading, watching sports, doing chores, checking the cows, taking a walk or visiting family and friends. On this particular Sunday, my son Yance and his bride to be, Elaine, who had been visiting for the weekend, left for school after church. I spent alot of my afternoon reading and studying God's Word as well as journaling. It was an afternoon of remembering all the fun times Ty and I had together and being thankful for the years God had given us. I was reminded that the days you have with your spouse, children, and friends are so special. You need to savor each one and realize that someday there may not be a next day to do or say all the things you've been putting off. I was regretting not expressing more often to Ty how much I appreciated him; that I didn't spend even more time just sitting and visiting with him when he was still able to do so.
That evening I went to care groups for a time of fellowship with some people from our church. Driving back home was hard knowing that once again Ty would not be there. It did make me smile to think of Shea (my dog) waiting at home to greet me. But even that thought brought tears as I thought of Ty getting her for me earlier that year. He said that he knew I would need her to keep me company if Jesus took him home. Ty always knew what was best for me--Shea has been a blessing and has made coming home alone easier.
As I headed to bed that night my heart was heavy with all the things that I wished I could tell Ty. I was focusing on the regrets I had and being very hard on myself. I was so lonely for Ty. But I chose to once again reach out to Jesus. He led me to a favorite devotional book called Come Away My Beloved then to the chapter titled "I Joy Over You" Jesus used the following words to speak to my heart:
"My child, My little one, My under-sheperd. My dear friend. My love for you is deep and tender.
I love you because you are my child. I love you because I am your Father. I love you with Calvary love. At a great price I redeemed you--because I have always loved you.
Draw near to Me without spoiling the preciousness of our fellowship with the shadows of self-condemnation.
You are mine and I joy over you. Let the peace of God rule in your heart and mind, and be filled with thanksgiving."
I cried as I read His personal message to me. He gave me peace as I asked for His forgiveness for all those regrets. Once again I was reminded of God's great love for me, that He would never leave me nor forsake me; that He is my Father and my husband. God was, at that moment, filling my heart with Himself. Ty was so right when he had told me that God would fill the hole in my heart after he was gone.
Do you have a hole in your heart?
My encouragement to everyone whose hearts are broken and hurting is that Jesus will meet you where you're at. Reach out to Him. He is the only one who can mend your heart. He is always faithful, and He loves you.
"Be strong and take heart all you who hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24"Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts
is a unique Christian book which beckons you to sit at God's feet and hear His voice. It calls you to come away and meet your loving heavenly Father in the pages of an evocative devotional. For over thirty years this book has nestled into the lives of thousands, touching seekers with a quiet power and moving believers to live more fully for a holy Savior.
If interesed in this book you can order it through christianbook.com.
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