God's Personal Reminders (Part Two)

Now for the rest of the story....Two weeks after my day of personal reminders in Hutchinson, I found myself struggling once again. This time I struggled with past failures, mainly things I wished I had done differently or even how I could have done better at caring for Ty's needs. This particular morning I felt like God had abandoned me. He felt so far away. Then, He led me once again to Dee Brestin's book, "The God of All Comfort". I opened it to the place I had read last. I was surprised (and yet I wasn't) when I read,

In times of spiritual dryness we need to focus not on our feelings, which are fickle, but on God, who is not. God can use our emotions for His glory, but when grief and fear are clouding our perspective and we focus on our feelings instead of God, the enemy has us exactly where He wants us. He whispers lies: "You don't feel Him [God] because He's gone. He's abandoned you." It's during these dry times that the enemy may also parade our sins or poor decisions before us, for he is the accuser.

After the loss of her husband the enemy haunted Dee with, "Why did you ever leave his side? Why didn't you sleep next to him on the floor at the end? He needed you and you weren't there. Why didn't you believe he was dying when so many people told you he was?" She goes on to say that all of these arrows have enough truth in them to hit their mark, which is what makes the accuser's poison so potent.

Her examples of those poisonous arrows:

'There were definitely times I let Steve(her husband) down.'
'I would do things differently if I had them to do again.'
'I was motivated, at least in part, by selfishness.'

I'll insert here that I was amazed as I read Dee's thoughts because I could have written them myself. It helped me so so much to have the Lord point out through Dee's story that I was not alone--that she had experienced exactly what I was going through. Dee goes on to say that those poisonous arrows also carry an enormous lie. The lie is because of my stupidity and selfishness, I have been abandoned by God. You and I know that we are not abandoned, even if we deserve it and even if our feelings scream that we have been abandoned. Jesus was abandoned so that we would never be.

Pastor Tim Keller says that the biggest problem during times of dryness is that we say, "I think God has finally given up on me. He's not there. Makes sense. I'm an idiot. I've been a failure. I'm inadequate. He's abandoned me." But that is not true! When our heart wavers, we must speak the truth to our souls for that is the only antidote to the enemy's poison. We must do what the Psalmist did, "No!" says the psalmist to his heart. "I will yet praise Him. He's a loving and gracious God." How can we know that for certain? Keller says, "Don't you see? Jesus Christ really experienced not just the loss of the feeling of God, He lost God. He was really forsaken by God. Why? So that despite your failures and your inadequacies, God will never give up on you."

God is there even if you don't sense Him. As Samuel Rutherford said, "Trust God's Word and His power more than you trust your own feelings and experiences. Remember, your Rock is Christ, and it is the sea that ebbs and flows with the tides, not Him." The rope we must cling to, the one that will never break, is the truth of God's Word, and God says He will never leave us or forsake us. It may feel like the streams of living water have dried up, but they have not.

Wow! Just like two weeks earlier on my trip to Hutchinson, Jesus was once again giving me personal reminders of His love and faithfulness in my darkest hours. First, He used two special women (Part One of God's Personal Reminders) to bless me with Dee Brestin's book and Bible study, and then He used Dee Brestin herself, a woman I have never met, to speak directly to my heart. Dee had lived what I'm now going through. By sharing what Jesus taught her during her dark days Dee is now influencing my life in huge ways.

I pray that those of you like me, who have at times felt abandoned by God, may be encouraged to know that you're not alone. You're not the only one who has those feelings. You're not crazy or abnormal. Don't listen to Satan's lies. Go back to the truth--the truth of God's character. Remember, God has promised, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5b. Do what the Psalmist did in the final verses of Psalm 42 and 43. "Put your HOPE in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." Don't give up. Seek Him. He is faithful and is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us...Ephesians 4:20.

One last reminder I want to leave with you is that Jesus loves you. He died for you and He wants a personal, intimate relationship with you. He is the only one who will never let you down. Take some time to read the Gospel of John. There you will find God's very own personal reminder of His great love for you through His Son, Jesus Christ.