God Mends Hearts

I have a hole in my heart. My husband, sweetheart, and best friend Tyler, took a part of my heart with him when he died last October. I asked him often during our cancer journey how I would be able to go on with part of my heart missing. He always said what we both knew--"God will fill the hole." I have found that to be true, not just once, but many times. The loneliness that I feel for Ty at times is so extreme that it's hard to describe. It is something I had never felt before, a deep emotional, as well as physical pain. The first time I experienced it my heart hurt so badly that I thought I was having a heart attack. I've felt it many times since. It's at those times that I cry out to Jesus and ask Him to help me--to give me something to hang on to because I absolutely have no strength to keep going. He then reminds me that when I am weak, He is strong and that He is always faithful to His promises.

An example of that is one night, soon after Ty's death. I was missing Ty so much as I went to bed. I felt very weak and alone as I cried out to Jesus and asked Him how I was going to make it without my wonderful husband. It was sinking in that I really wouldn't see Ty again until Jesus was ready to take me home to heaven. Because God's Word says that 'when we seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him' (Jeremiah 29:13) I sought Him that night to give me some encouragement from His Word. He led me to Isaiah 54:5 which says

"For your Maker is your husband--the Lord Almighty is His name, the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth."

WOW!! What a comfort that was--my God is not only my Father but a husband to me as well. And He had just lovingly led me to a verse that I had never noticed before. Our Lord always knows just what we need.

Recently, God once again revealed His faithful love to me. Ty and I had always enjoyed Sundays. We both loved going to Sunday School and church to fellowship with many friends and to be
taught and challenged from God's Word. We usually spent the rest of the day together reading, watching sports, doing chores, checking the cows, taking a walk or visiting family and friends. On this particular Sunday, my son Yance and his bride to be, Elaine, who had been visiting for the weekend, left for school after church. I spent alot of my afternoon reading and studying God's Word as well as journaling. It was an afternoon of remembering all the fun times Ty and I had together and being thankful for the years God had given us. I was reminded that the days you have with your spouse, children, and friends are so special. You need to savor each one and realize that someday there may not be a next day to do or say all the things you've been putting off. I was regretting not expressing more often to Ty how much I appreciated him; that I didn't spend even more time just sitting and visiting with him when he was still able to do so.

That evening I went to care groups for a time of fellowship with some people from our church. Driving back home was hard knowing that once again Ty would not be there. It did make me smile to think of Shea (my dog) waiting at home to greet me. But even that thought brought tears as I thought of Ty getting her for me earlier that year. He said that he knew I would need her to keep me company if Jesus took him home. Ty always knew what was best for me--Shea has been a blessing and has made coming home alone easier.

As I headed to bed that night my heart was heavy with all the things that I wished I could tell Ty. I was focusing on the regrets I had and being very hard on myself. I was so lonely for Ty. But I chose to once again reach out to Jesus. He led me to a favorite devotional book called Come Away My Beloved then to the chapter titled "I Joy Over You" Jesus used the following words to speak to my heart:

"My child, My little one, My under-sheperd. My dear friend. My love for you is deep and tender.

I love you because you are my child. I love you because I am your Father. I love you with Calvary love. At a great price I redeemed you--because I have always loved you.

Draw near to Me without spoiling the preciousness of our fellowship with the shadows of self-condemnation.

You are mine and I joy over you. Let the peace of God rule in your heart and mind, and be filled with thanksgiving."

I cried as I read His personal message to me. He gave me peace as I asked for His forgiveness for all those regrets. Once again I was reminded of God's great love for me, that He would never leave me nor forsake me; that He is my Father and my husband. God was, at that moment, filling my heart with Himself. Ty was so right when he had told me that God would fill the hole in my heart after he was gone.

Do you have a hole in your heart?

My encouragement to everyone whose hearts are broken and hurting is that Jesus will meet you where you're at. Reach out to Him. He is the only one who can mend your heart. He is always faithful, and He loves you.

"Be strong and take heart all you who hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24


"Come Away My Beloved" by Frances J. Roberts
is a unique Christian book which beckons you to sit at God's feet and hear His voice. It calls you to come away and meet your loving heavenly Father in the pages of an evocative devotional. For over thirty years this book has nestled into the lives of thousands, touching seekers with a quiet power and moving believers to live more fully for a holy Savior.

If interesed in this book you can order it through christianbook.com.