Jesus--Our HOPE in the New Year and Every Day of the Year

   Happy New Year! Trusting that each of you had a blessed Christmas and are looking forward with anticipation to what our Savior and Lord has for you in the year ahead. 

   I write this the day after celebrating Christmas with my family. So many thoughts raced through my mind as I talked with my Savior this morning reflecting over the Christmas season, the preparations, the gift giving and special times with family and friends. As my sons, their beautiful wives and my 4 precious grandchildren came to spend the day with me, I just felt overwhelmed by the goodness of Jesus, of His love for each of us and for the blessing of family. Honestly, it is still bittersweet as we gather to share gifts and share meals around the table without Ty (our husband, father and grandfather). And yet....the amazing thing is that with each passing year as we choose to trust and hope in our God and His promises He gives us not only strength to carry on but also joy and peace as we rest in Him. As I told my family yesterday...Yes, I wish that Ty were still here, but I still can be thankful and find joy in each day because I KNOW that God's plans are always the BEST and that He never makes a mistake. What comfort and HOPE we have knowing that this earth is not our true home, as followers of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and that someday we will all celebrate every moment with our Savior and with Ty forever and forever. There is no gift or treasure on this earth that comes close to comparing to that!!

  Yet, it is hard in this life to really believe that with all your heart if you haven't had to suffer and come to a place that you can hardly take another breath or another step on your own. In suffering, you are forced to examine what you say you believe. It's one thing to say: "Yes, I believe in Jesus. I trust Him and believe His promises." But it's another to live those promises when tragedy strikes and life no longer makes sense. It's at those times when those verses that you've known so well all your life become lifelines. As you cling to them they bring hope and strength that is beyond explanation. There have been so many verses/promises that I have clung to and continue to rely on every day. They are all available to each of us as we choose to run into the arms of our Savior by opening the Bible (His love letter to us). If you have been reading my blog, you know that the Bible is my greatest treasure. No other book is alive (Hebrews 4:12 For the Word of the Lord is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword...) and can change our hearts and give us hope like God's Word. Here are just a few of the many promises that have brought encouragement to my heart and I pray will encourage you in this new year:

   Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direst your paths.

   Matthew 11:28 Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

   Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

   Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus

   Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have because God has said, "Never will I leave you or forsake you." So we can say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

   Isaiah 40:31 Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles.

   I Peter 4:13 But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you many be overjoyed when His glory is revealed. Vs. 19 So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

   I John 4:15,16 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God. God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

   Psalm 73:23,24 Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.

   Psalm 37:23 If the Lord delights in a man's way, He makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

   Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

   Psalm 25:4,5 Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are my God my savior, and my hope is in you all day long.

   Psalm 34:15 The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their cry.

   Psalm 29:11 The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace.

   Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.

   It's really hard for me to stop sharing His words of hope. As the last verse states: He is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine. I can testify to that. He continues to amaze me more each day with His love and faithfulness. I am so very thankful for Him and for my dear family and multitude of friends this new year. I am blessed beyond measure with many material gifts but more importantly with a growing love and contentment in my Savior each day. I want to encourage each of you in this new year with this promise - that God will be faithful to you too, no matter what you are going through, as you choose to TRUST and BELIEVE His precious promises.

   We are all on a journey each day. Hopefully that journey is leading you closer and closer to Jesus. Choose to take that step out in faith more often this year--to get out of your comfort zone and obey when He asks you to do something that you can't do in your own strength. It's hard--I know...but every time I take that step my faith grows because my Lord never fails to show up and do exceedingly, abundantly beyond what I could imagine! This paragraph from the "Jesus Calling" devotional, spoken as if Jesus is talking, sums it up well: 

I care as much about your tiny trust-steps through daily life as about your dramatic leaps of faith. You may think that no one notices, but the One who is always beside you sees everything--and rejoices. Consistently trusting in Me is vital to flourishing in My Presence.

   As I finish up my year-long clothing fast this month, I will be sharing all the Lord has taught me through that in my next blog. Hopefully, I will also be sharing about my new grandson who is due on January 24!! So fun!

   The song I'm sharing is an older one by Phillips, Craig and Dean called "I Am A Friend of God." Praying that in this new year your friendship with our Heavenly Father will flourish as you seek to love Him more and know Him better each day. He truly is the best friend you will ever have!!!


   

Jesus--Our Greatest Gift!

   This Christmas season I want to praise Jesus for all that He has done and continues to do in my life. As His follower, every Christmas should be better and more special as the years go by because of being more satisfied and in love with the greatest gift--Jesus! When you already have the best gift, you can appreciate all the other gifts and blessings that He gives you so much more.

   It's hard for me to express how much I love and cherish my Savior. As I've mentioned before, I know that Jesus wants me to share my heart here, to be vulnerable, to help others see how much they need Jesus not religion, rules and trying harder. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I need to share that I don't have it all together--that I struggle--that I mess up--so that others will know that they're not alone in their struggles and that they have a Savior who loves them unconditionally, who delights in them and promises never to leave them and to help them in those struggles.

Recently, I shared one of my journal entries with some friends to encourage them by reminding them of what Jesus has done for me in those struggles and what He wants to do for all of us. I can relate to Paul so well. In Philippians 1 he talks about wanting Christ to be exalted in his body, whether by life or by death. He says in vs. 21-26:

   "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me." 

   That was my desire: that as I shared from my journal what Jesus had reminded me of, that their joy in Jesus would overflow. One of those friends encouraged me to share that entry here which was an answer to my prayer of "what should I share, Lord? You are teaching me so much!" 

   So...from my journal entry testifying to the amazing gift we have in Jesus and His Word. All of our journeys are different, but Jesus is enough for all of us and waits patiently for us to REST in Him in everything.

    Journal entry of Oct. 22, 2013

   From McArthur commentary:
   "The key and the only key to a righteous life is keeping the Word of the living God. Jesus told the Scribes/Pharisees that they "invalidated the Word of God for the sake of their tradition" (Matt. 15:6). On the surface it seemed that the traditions made the law harder, but in reality they made it much easier, because observance was entirely external. Keeping the traditions demanded a great deal of effort, but it demanded no heart obedience and no faith in God."

   In many ways that's how I lived much of my life. I wanted to do things "right" but my motivation was more from "being the good girl" and "because I should" than of wanting to obey, honor and glorify Jesus because of my love for Him. Again--it was more out of duty than relationship although I didn't see it that way at the time. I didn't hunger and thirst for righteousness and to know Him better nearly as much as I hungered to fit in and be accepted by others and the world. My focus was definitely on this world and being comfortable here than on my true home in heaven. My peace and contentment rested in people, circumstances or events and was not consistent. Such a contrast from now when I have peace, joy and contentment continually regardless of my circumstances or what others people in my life do or say. That has come from choosing to seek and draw near to my Savior in His Word and make Him my #1 priority--a choice that has to be made every day sometimes many times a day as we have so many choices on how to spend the time He has given us. As I have heard others say when their greatest treasure on earth is taken away: "it's not until everything is taken away (for me it was Ty, my greatest earthly treasure) that you realize you have everything you need in Jesus!" He truly is enough. Does that mean that every day is easy--NO--but it means that I never face any moment alone, that He has promised to never leave me or forsake me, that He is the God of all comfort, that His plans for me are perfect, that He is my strength when I'm weak, that as I trust Him He gives me a peace beyond my understanding, that I can choose to REST in His loving arms every minute, that His love for me never changes no matter how much I mess up, that I can enjoy each day one at a time and not worry because He holds my future securely in His hands, because all things will work together for good because I am His child, because He delights in me, because He brings sunshine to my heart even on a cloudy day, because of the security/contentment I have in my relationship with Jesus that I enjoy everything and everyone more, because He is my Rock, my Fortress, my King, my Shepherd, my Savior, my Lord, my Shelter, my Redeemer, my Refuge, my Father, and now my Husband--what more could I ask for? He is enough--more of Him was what I was searching for and needed for much of my life. Now, for the rest of my life here, I want to honor and glorify my best friend and Savior by sharing what He has taught me through His very special love letter--His WORD--the Bible as I have chosen to run to Him over and over and over again in times of extreme loneliness and times when I thought my heart would break because I missed Ty so much. I felt like giving up so many times, but the God of all comfort--my Savior--was forever faithful, and I am forever thankful. Now I just want to help others to understand that they do not need to fear anything because the thing I feared the most happened to me, and I am continually amazed at the faithfulness and love of Jesus and how He has and continues to change my heart and give me a continual joy and peace that is truly way beyond my understanding and of greater worth than ANYTHING this world has to offer! I am blessed and more thankful every day for the TRUE RICHES which can only be found in an intimate, personal relationship with Jesus Christ and from fellowship and encouragement from others who are His children.

   I pray for each of you who will read this--that you will find HOPE in Jesus --the greatest gift--this Christmas. As you celebrate His birth, I pray that you will hunger for more of Him during this busy time and take time to be still, to open His Word, to share your heart with Him and to get to know Him better. Time spent with Him is never wasted time and will help you notice and cherish all the blessings that He gives you each day. Every day is a very special gift when you walk hand in hand with Jesus!!

   The song that I'm sharing with you this month was one we sang in church last Sunday called "Lord, I Need You" I need Him desperately every minute of every day. I love the line in the song that says: "And where You are, Lord, I am free" as well as "without You I fall apart, You're the One that guides my heart."  

   Have a blessed Christmas with Jesus, family and friends!

Thankful and Blessed

     Thanksgiving is such a wonderful time of the year. I just love fall and the crispness of the air as well as all the beautiful trees. It's a reminder to be thankful and remember all of our many blessings. Since the theme this month is thankfulness, it was easy for me to quickly think of some things that I am particularly thankful for this past month.

     First of all, I am thankful for life-long friends. I had the privilege of going to Branson for a week with two friends who I grew up with--Shari Morford and Kathie Spare. What a blessing that was. Shari's mom, Iolene Hildebrand and my mom, Donna Whitehouse as well as Kathie's sister, Brenda  went along too. The last time that I was in Branson was many years ago when my sons were small so things have changed a lot since then. Ty and I took the boys to Silver Dollar City and I have very fond memories of that. Interestingly enough we were there (at Silver Dollar City) on October 17--the 4th anniversary of Ty's death. I was excited about that because I knew that Ty would be glad that I was on this adventure with these special friends. It was fun to go back and visit the places that I specifically remember that we went to as a family. The blacksmith shop and knife shop were places that  Ty and the boys especially enjoyed. Even though the trees weren't changing too much yet, the scenery was still beautiful and the weather almost perfect. We were very privileged to stay in a condo owned by some dear friends. The view from our balcony there was fabulous and a special blessing to me every morning as I enjoyed a yummy cup of coffee with Jesus. Watching the sun come up and praising my Lord for His creation is a priceless treasure! My dear friend, Shari, even created a picture album on facebook of our adventures as the "Branson Belles" (the name we gave ourselves).  The trip also reminded me that friendships are such a blessing. It's important that we don't get so busy that we don't take time to visit with friends and nurture those relationships. Take time today to reconnect with an old friend (not just on facebook) but face to face sharing a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and encouraging each other!!

     I'm also thankful for my family--for my children and grandchildren. I enjoyed some one on one time with my one and only, sweet and special grand-daughter this past month. Wyatt, Laurel and Preston went to a K-State football game in Manhattan so I went to Newton to spend the day with Clara. Now--that was fun!!! We read books, played outside, went to Wal-mart, took a stroller ride around the neighborhood, played games and generally laughed alot. The rest of my grandchildren call me Nana, but Clara calls me Nanny. It was so much fun hearing her call "Nanny" whenever she woke up from her nap. Of course, the day went way too fast. As I tucked her in for bed that evening, it was hard to say good-night knowing that when she woke up the next time I wouldn't be there to hear her call my name!! What a precious treasure grand-children are. I am thankful for each one and for their parents--my dear sons, Wyatt and Yance, and their wonderful wives (and now my daughters), Laurel and Elaine.  Another blessing was having Yance bring James and Luke to spend part of a week-end with me. It gave Elaine time to catch up on some things at home and was a blessing to me to get to have some time with "her boys". Loved it when Luke woke up sucking his thumb--so adorable. Fun to watch James play with his dad's and Uncle Wyatt's trucks and tractors that they played with when they were little. Had a memorable day just playing with the boys, going to the park, visiting my mom (great-grandma), having Yance help me with little things around the house and enjoying fixing and eating some of his favorite foods from his childhood years. Lots of simple things but important things. Again, relationships are so important. Time flies by quickly. Our children and grandchildren grow up so fast. Be sure and treasure and appreciate each moment.

     Most of all, I'm thankful for my Savior and best friend, Jesus Christ.  No matter what life brings, whatever I have or don't have, or wherever I am, He is the best gift I've been given and will ever receive. Every other blessing that He gives to me is more special and appreciated because of my relationship with Him and the security I have in His amazing and unconditional love and acceptance. He gives me a continual, never-ending supply of joy, peace and contentment as I choose to rest, trust and find my HOPE in Him. NOTHING in this world compares to that. I am blessed beyond measure and so very thankful!!!

     Praying for each of you this month that you will also be overwhelmed with Jesus's love for you and will appreciate all of His many blessings.

     The song that I'm going to share with you was a gift from my dear heavenly Father on a day that was particularly hard.  I was struggling when I turned on Pandora and this song, "Steady My Heart", by Kari Jobe came on. As always, my Lord knew exactly what I needed to hear. Listening to the song that day quieted my anxious heart and helped me to focus on what I have in Jesus. I trust that it will be a blessing to you--that you too will choose to take refuge in the arms of Jesus and allow Him to steady your heart.

Taking the hand of Jesus

 

 "Hands" is the theme for the lovelybranches.org blogs this month. Often I don't choose to follow the theme, but my first thought when I heard it was of a picture that I cherish. It was taken at Wyatt and Laurel's wedding and is a close-up of Ty's hand holding mine. When Ty and I were looking at the wedding pictures deciding which one to get...Ty definitely wanted this one. He said that if our Lord didn't heal him here and chose to take him home to heaven that I would especially be grateful for that picture. Well, he was right as he usually was. It is one of my most treasured possessions. I always loved his big, strong hands; hands that totally enveloped my smaller ones. I was comforted in uncertain or hard situations by just taking his hand and feeling that familiar squeeze, knowing without a word from him that he was there for me. As the years go by, and I continue to walk the road that Jesus has for me here, I am even more thankful for that precious picture because I never want to forget what his hand looked like and the comfort I always felt as I so often reached out for it. Amazingly, that picture brings much comfort each day as it is a reminder to me that although I no longer have Ty's hand to reach for that I do have the hand of my Savior to hold onto. Just as holding Ty's hand brought much comfort and assurance in years past; taking hold of the hand of Jesus and trusting Him does as well. 
   I encourage each of you today to choose to take hold of the hand of Jesus, to walk with Him, to share your heart with Him. He loves you so much and is holding out His hand to you just waiting for you to take it and trust and rest in Him. Allow Jesus to walk with you as well as lead and guide you today and everyday. 
   If you are blessed to have a spouse, then choose to take time to hold their hand while you enjoy reading together God's love letter (His Word) or take a walk, hand in hand, talking to our creator as you enjoy His beautiful creation. If you don't have time for either of those things, then your life is too busy. Treasure every moment; don't take each other for granted. None of us are guaranteed another day, another year.
   As I was finishing writing these thoughts, I was again amazed as my Lord led me to a devotional by David Jeremiah which expresses very well what Ty's hands and now what the hands of my Savior express to me.
   The verse from the devotional is from I Chronicles 28:20 and says: Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the Lord God--my God--will be with you.
   Then from the devotional titled, Tucked In: When Corrie ten Boom was a little girl, her father used to tuck her into bed at night. He talked and prayed with her, then laid his big hand on her little face. Later, when Corrie was imprisoned in a brutal concentration camp, she would ask God to tuck her in and lay His hand on her face. "That would bring me peace, and I would be able to sleep." Corrie wrote in her book, Each New Day. 
   One of our Lord's names is Emmanuel, meaning "God with us." Our dads and moms (or our spouse) may no longer be around to tuck us into bed, but our Emmanuel never leaves us. Sometimes it helps to envision His presence beside us in the car, sitting by us in the pew at church, or leaning over us in bed as if to tuck us in. It's not a matter of visualizing an imaginary person but of recognizing a Friend's presence.
   Jesus said,"Lo, I am with you always." So be strong and of good courage, and do not fear or be dismayed, for the Lord God will be with you.
   As Corrie ten Boom prayed and you and I can pray too: Jesus, thank You that because of Your constant presence, I am never alone. Hold my hand tightly, Lord. Although afflictions may torment me, they can never defeat me.
   I'm trusting each of you into His loving hands. Hold on; hold tight!! May our Lord bless you richly with HOPE in His presence!
   Choosing to share the song: "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman as a reminder that God is always with us. We do not need to fear because He will never let go of us--His beloved children!

God Never Gives Up on You!

Honestly, I don't even know where to begin this month. Since sharing with you last I, like each of you I'm sure, have had good days and tough days. My journal is filled with thanks to the Lord for his faithfulness as well as cries to him to help me in my weakness-----again! I'm so thankful that he never gives up on me. That as his child, God looks at me lovingly, with compassion, just like he looks at his son Jesus because of the sacrifice that He made at the cross for us. Elyse M. Fitzpatrick in her book, "Because He Loves Me" (a book I highly recommend) says it this way: "He loves you with the same intensity and purity of love that he has for his Son (John 17:23). Jesus is his beloved and so are you." What a blessing!! God's love for me and you never changes.

 As the theme this month for the lovelybranches.org blogs is on 'Serving God and Serving Others', I believe that in order to do that we, as followers of Jesus Christ, need to be more open with our struggles and battles. In doing so, we can then serve each other by praying with and for each other and be reminded that we're not alone and we're not crazy like Satan wants us to believe. I'll share with you a journal entry of one of those "battle" days.

A very tough morning. My feelings say, "I hate myself." I hate my sin. I hate battling the same sins over and over. I just want to give up. It's so much harder being a committed follower of Jesus Christ than how it was when I just tacked Jesus on to "my life" and "my agenda." I think this is the 1st time I have ever said to the Lord, "I hate myself." I am thankful for you Lord and love talking to you and listening to your Words to me in the Bible, but I have been so lonely lately for another human to hear my heart and to tell me that I'm not crazy (like Ty used to do). It just takes me so long to make decisions and when I do I second guess myself. I am less patient with others as well as myself recently. I'm reading and studying God's Word as well as crying out to Him and yet...I continue to battle the same things. I read Hebrews 12 and 13 this morning reminding me that God will never forsake me, that I need to endure hardship as discipline, that I need to continue to keep my eyes on Jesus, and that He will equip me with everything I need to do His will. The life application commentary said: "God works in us to make us the kind of people that would please Him, and He equips us to do the kind of work that would please Him. Let God change you from within and then use you to help others. Hebrews is a call to Christian maturity. Christian maturity means making Christ the beginning and end of our faith. To grow in maturity, we must center our lives on Him, not depending on religious ritual, not falling back into sin, not trusting in ourselves, and not letting anything come between us and Christ. Christ is sufficient and superior!" My heart is hurting, Lord. I know that I have nothing to complain about--that I am blessed in so many ways--that I don't have the struggles that Job had or that Joni Eareckson Tada has, etc..., but I still am weary of this life, of my failures and my sin. A part of me wants to go back to when I was blinded to all the sin in my life because then Satan left me alone, but I also didn't have the  peace, joy and contentment either which I wouldn't trade for anything so I'm choosing to do what I just re-read from a previous entry in my journal: "Endure for today--hang tough--don't give up--don't give in--don't feel sorry for yourself. The testing of your faith produces endurance. Obey God right now. You have grace for today, fresh grace for every hour. On bad days He gives more grace. Don't worry about 5 years from now--the Lord may come back in 4!" Also there was another reminder for my heart that despises myself today: "Because of God's grace, it's never too late to become what you might have been. God can redeem our wasted years." Please give me your grace, Lord, minute by minute on this hard day where I need you desperately to remind me that you delight in and cherish me even and especially when I don't like myself at all.

I'll share my follow-up entry on the next day where Jesus did answer my prayer from the day before and did remind me of his love and faithfulness.

A quick follow-up on my very difficult day yesterday. I shared with some dear friends about my day. It's always good to bring our struggles out in the open. We had a very encouraging time encouraging each other as well as praying for each other. I mentioned my difficult time with most decisions--just want to honor you, Lord, with every one. I shared my desire to have more wisdom to know what your will is. Well--amazement again at you, Lord, when I turned on the radio that evening and heard Chip Ingram talking about how to know what God's will is for you. He used the verse Psalm 32:8 which is one I pray all the time--a great promise from Jesus: "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." I'm constantly amazed at how personal you are, Lord. First I had to choose to turn on the radio and not the TV and then you used Chip to speak the exact words that I needed to hear that day! But....You weren't done yet. As I went to bed last night I read in the "God is Faithful" devotional by Larry Burkett and Chuck Bentley. The title was "Be the Best." Larry closed the devotional with "We will function the best when we are where God wants us to be. There's nothing better than that! Find out what you are good at--what you enjoy--be the best you can be--with God's help." Then the verse at the end was.....Psalm 32:8!! Wow, Lord--very simply--you have reminded me again that I need to believe You--believe Your promise to me that you will lead, guide, instruct, and counsel me in the way I  should go (in every decision) as I TRUST YOU!!! Thank you, Lord for HOPE today. Life is hard. The battles will continue, but You are always faithful.

So there you have it. I went from despair and weariness to hope once again in my very faithful, loving, and patient Savior. I just want to encourage each of you in your walk with Jesus. Hang tough, keep fighting, persevere, share your heart with Jesus as well as with friends. Read His Word, His precious love letter to you and believe and rest in every one of His many promises not your feelings. Thank God for what you have. Trust Him for what you need. We have a priceless treasure in our Savior. How blessed we are!!!!

"Draw Me Nearer" by Meredith Andrews is the song I chose for you today. I trust that you will feel His nearness and love as you continue to seek Him each day. One of my favorite lines in the song is: "Where you are is where I'm home."

Contentment in Jesus

   Back in January I shared with you that Jesus spoke to my heart about going on a clothing, shoes and jewelry fast for a year. Here are some things that I've learned and been reminded of in the past 6 months since that time. First of all it's hard to believe that it's already been 6 months. It's actually been a fun adventure and has forced me to be more creative in putting together new outfits with the things I already have. I have put different belts, scarves, and jewelry with outfits to change an "old" look. I have realized how easy it is to confuse wants with needs and how often I get something new because it's "a great deal" rather than evaluating whether It's something I really need. We have choices every day of how we're going to spend the resources that God had given us. Everything we have is His, and I desire to be a good steward of what He has given me. I've noticed that by not spending and therefore not even looking or shopping for clothes, etc... has made me evaluate all areas of where I spend money. I am much more conscious of focusing on needs more than wants. I have become more frugal in all areas, appreciate all that I already have more, and am reminded that there are so many people whose needs are greater than mine. I say that I want to give more to meet the needs of others, but am I willing to give up some of my "wants" in order to do that? Decisions are hard for me so it's been nice to not have to decide which dress or shirt or pair of shoes to buy and instead choose to wear and be thankful for the things that I have and have worn many times before. Really....does anyone else care what I wear and why do so many get caught up in having the latest fashion trend? What really matters--wearing something new or having a heart that is seeking to know Jesus better and a desire to share His love with others? Our world focuses much more on the outward appearance while Jesus focuses on our hearts. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with dressing and looking nice, but   it can become a problem when the pursuit of "things" (clothes, vacations, homes, electronics, TV, etc....) become more important than desiring to know Jesus better. 

   In order for Jesus to fill our hearts with Himself, we need to be willing to deny ourselves. Self-denial is a common thread in Christ's teachings to His disciples (Matthew 10:38, 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 14:26,27; John 12:24-26). From my journal on June 23 I wrote:

   Self-denial is a willingness to obey His commandments, serve one another and suffer--perhaps even die--for His sake. I desire to do that now, but the Holy Spirit has shown me that for much of my life my actions did not demonstrate self-denial but self-preoccupation. I desired to be served more than to serve--didn't know Jesus and therefore His Word well enough to obey His commands and certainly was not willing to suffer and die for Him. I didn't want to miss out on anything this world had to offer. My focus was on the here and now not my home with Jesus in heaven forever. My focus was on the world and "fitting in" rather than on denying myself and being willing to be different and misunderstood. Jesus was a servant, loved others passionately, was misunderstood and ridiculed by many and willingly suffered and died for me. He asks me to deny myself and follow Him. As He, through the Holy Spirit, has revealed to me that  for much of my life my focus was on myself and being accepted in this world--now I pray that I will choose each day to deny myself, take up my cross and follow Him; that I will desire to follow in His footsteps, being willing to do the will of my Heavenly Father no matter what the cost just like Jesus, my Savior, did every minute that He walked this earth until He suffered and died for me on the cross. Really--if I truly love Him and say that I am a follower of His--can I do any less? Instead of expecting life here to be easy, I need to realize that it won't be. It wasn't easy for Jesus, and it wasn't easy for His disciples, but as Paul (who suffered much) said: "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21 I desire to live the rest of my life here to honor and glorify my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, to share His love and story of hope with others, and to 
look forward to my forever home with Him someday!!!

    In denying myself some things this year because of the clothing fast, it has reinforced how important contentment is. As I've shared here before, I was discontent for much of my life and was always seeking to find contentment with more stuff. Hebrews 13:5 says: "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." The life application commentary sums up so well what my Lord has taught me: "How can we learn to be content? Strive to live with less rather than desiring more; give away out of your abundance rather than accumulating more; relish what you have rather than resent what you're missing. We become content when we realize God's sufficiency for our needs. Christians who become materialistic are saying by their actions that God can't take care of them--or at least that He won't take care of them the way they want. Insecurity can lead to the love of money, whether we are rich or poor. The only antidote is to trust God to meet all our needs. See God's love expressed in what He has provided, and remember that money and possessions will all pass away." God promises to meet our needs in Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Again I have found the  life application commentary to be so true: "We can trust that God will always meet our needs. Whatever we need on earth He will always supply, even if it is the courage to face death as Paul did. We must remember, however, the difference between our wants and our needs. Most people want to feel good and avoid discomfort or pain. We may not get all that we want. By trusting in Christ, our attitudes and appetites can change from wanting everything to accepting His provision and power to live for Him."

  Contentment in Jesus brings freedom from the desire for "more". Contentment in Jesus alone is lasting, never-changing and a constant, constant, HOPE! 

   The song I'm sharing with you today is called "My Reward" by Kristian Stanfill. Is Jesus your reward today? Does He mean more to you than anyone or anything else? Praying that you will choose to make knowing Him your most important priority. You will not be disappointed. HE IS AMAZING!!!


   

Remembering God's Faithfulness

   Writing this on Memorial Day. Just got home from going to the cemetery with Ty's parents and my mom. We talked about how glad we are to be able to rejoice that Ty and our daughter (granddaughter), Marshay are in heaven. What a blessing it was to then hold hands as Dad prayed thanking our Lord for His faithfulness, acknowledging our loneliness for Ty but still rejoicing in the love and compassion of Jesus for us, knowing that His plan is always the best plan whether we understand it or not. Thankful for Mom and Dad (Ty's folks) and all their encouragement, love and support. So fun to be with them even though being with Dad makes me miss Ty more because Ty was so much like him.
   It's been a week of contemplation as Ty's Grandma Farney died. She was 101 years old and ready to meet her Savior. She and Ty shared the same birthday on Christmas Eve. We usually celebrated with a birthday breakfast at Mom and Dad's. What fun that was!! Imagining Ty enveloping his grandma in a big hug as he welcomed her to heaven makes me smile. It also made my heart ache to be there with them. But...my loving heavenly Father reminded me once again that He still has plans for me here, and I need to just keep walking with Him day by day until that day that He takes me home. 
   After returning home from the cemetery, I once again reached for my Bible and enjoyed some time with Jesus. As I visited with Him, I was reminded how much my faith has grown in the last 3 1/2 years since Ty went to heaven and into the arms of Jesus. I know my Savior so much better now. I know that He is faithful as He has proven to me over and over. Rejoicing in Him today!!! As I was praying, He brought Psalm 39 to my mind. The theme: "Apart from God, life is fleeting and empty." Amen to that!!!  Because of my relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ, I have joy, peace, fulfillment, and contentment in my life now without my sweetheart, Ty. Only Jesus can mend our broken hearts and give us everything we need to carry on in this world. Verse 12 says: "Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping." By that verse in my Bible I have written 2 dates--one of which was on another Memorial Day when my kids left to go home and I was particularly lonely. I cried out to my Lord, and He did hear my prayer and reminded me of the HOPE that only He can give. As verse 7 says: "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My HOPE is in You." That's what Jesus has done for me day after day is fill up the loneliness in my heart with more of Him. I continue to be so in awe of Him and His overwhelming love and care for me. As I read through the rest of this Psalm, verses 5 and 6 especially stood out on this Memorial Day as a reminder to how short our lives are here compared to eternity. "You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before You. Each man's life is but a breath. Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro. He bustles about but only in vain; he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it." Then again to verse 7: "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My HOPE is in You." The life application commentary for those verses: "The brevity of life is a theme throughout the books of Psalms, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. Ironically people spend so much time securing their lives on earth and spend little or no thought about where they will spend eternity. David realized that amassing riches and busily accomplishing worldly tasks would make no difference in eternity. Few people understand that their only HOPE is in the Lord." 
   My HOPE today is that your HOPE is in Jesus and that you have a personal intimate relationship with Him. If you don't and would like to just click on this word: HOPE to read His personal invitation to you from His Word. A relationship with Jesus is the most important relationship you will ever have. For those of us   who do know Jesus I pray that our desire to know Jesus better will increase every day and our focus on this world and the things of this world will decrease.  Being on my clothing fast this year is definitely helping me in that area. (I'll share more about that in another post.) As I've mentioned many times here before--NOTHING and NO ONE in this world can meet our deepest needs like Jesus can. As followers of Jesus Christ--remember this world is not our home--we are just passing through until that day when we'll be truly home with Jesus--our Lord and Savior forever and ever! I can't wait--how about you?
   I'll close with the song "What a Savior" trusting, as the song says, that He is your Savior, your deepest desire and your HOPE.

  

Resting in God's Promises

Here are some facts for you to ponder and rejoice in:

   God's Word, the Bible is readily available to each one of us to correct, encourage, comfort and guide us.

   God, the creator of the universe, loves and delights in you and desires to have a personal, intimate relationship with you.
    All of God's promises are true. You can always count on Him.

    He will never leave you or forsake you.

   My heart breaks when I hear statistics saying that many people who call themselves Christians don't believe that the Bible is God's inspired and living Word to us. As I've mentioned before--I think of it as His love letter to me. It becomes dearer to my heart each day because my love for my Savior, Jesus, grows every day.
     It wasn’t always that way though. For many years Jesus wasn’t my top priority. I can see that so clearly now but couldn’t see it then. Satan–the great deceiver is so good at sidetracking us and getting us to focus and spend our time at anything else other than at the feet of Jesus, reading His Word and talking with Him. He loves to keep us so busy with life, our families, and often times with many “good” things so that our time with Jesus is just a few moments squeezed in. It wasn’t until I became very weary of trying to keep up with all that the world says you have to be and have that I was exhausted. I was always seeking that elusive peace, contentment and joy through yet another person (family, friends) place (vacations, church, my home) or thing (food, clothes, TV, movies, books, exercise, etc.). But then I cried out to Jesus and told Him that I wanted to know Him and claimed His promises from James 4:8 “Draw near to me and I will draw near to you.” and from Jeremiah 29:13 “You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.”
    God is just waiting patiently for us to desire to know Him.  What I found is that as I picked up His Word and made seeking Him and knowing Him better a priority that He created in my heart more of a hunger to know Him more intimately every day. It was amazing and still is amazing. He is amazing! You can never outgive God. I can promise you that as you step out in faith, He will show up and bless you--often not with more things of this world but more of Himself which is far better than anything else. 
    I still marvel at all the changes He has made in my heart as I have chosen to make knowing Him better and loving Him more the priority of every new day. It's a choice I make every day with every decision. He wants to lead us every step and every moment of every day. My desire is to be so in step with Him that I'm allowing Him to direct and lead me constantly--that I am willing to lay aside my schedule for His--always. That's definitely not easy at times because I want my way, but every time I choose to obey I am blessed because His way is always BEST. That elusive peace, joy, hope and contentment that I was searching for I have now found in Jesus alone. What freedom that brings! I believe every one of His promises because I know and trust Him. Because of that I do not fear what tomorrow holds because I know who holds the future! But...there is much fear in our world. The following statements come from Jon Bloom's blog which he wrote a few days after the terror attack at the Boston Marathon. Satan wants us to believe: "You are not safe anywhere. Your trust in God is a foolish trust. Your God is not going to deliver you." Jon goes on to say that "fearing the Lord is believing the Lord. God's Word is stronger that the evil in the world."  Do you believe that God is in control no matter what happens in our world? Do you stand on God's promises and REST in them?
    I would like to share with you the blog page I mentioned above by Jon Bloom. I encourage you to click this link: Lay Aside the Weight of Fear. I read it on the Desiring God website and made a copy for myself because it has a list of many of God's wonderful promises which I hope and pray will encourage you and bring you peace.  What we read, listen to and fill our minds with is what we become. I pray that we will all become more and more like Jesus as we read His story, His love letter, to us.
    The song I've chosen to share with you is another one that our praise team at church shared with us. It's called "Sovereign". It sums up so well what I've tried to share with you--that our God is in control, that we do not need to fear anything, that all of our hopes, lives, fears and dreams are held in His hands, and we can trust Him!!! 

Be Joyful Always, Pray Continually and Be Thankful

Have been reading back through my journal this month and it sure is hard to choose what to share. Jesus is always teaching me something good. I ended my blog with you last month sharing about some special verses in I Thessalonians 5:16-18: "Be joyful always, pray continually and be thankful in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Interestingly those were the verses that Dr. Jeremiah used in his devotional for March. He has a number of articles that he wrote about these verses. That brings me to this entry in my journal on March 18.

Spent time reading through Dr. Jeremiah's articles on I Thessalonians 5:16-18. Those are the verses the Lord specifically led me to after Yance and Elaine's wedding when I was extremely lonely for Ty and had been asking Him--"Lord, what is your will for me." He answered so clearly and those verses have been such a foundation for me. So many times when I have been desperate for what to do next, been wanting to give up, been lonely and hurting--I have chosen to obey His Words to me in those verses. He then gives me just what I need to take the next step, even if it's just a baby step, to keep on going. I still marvel at how personally and intimately He meets my need and speaks to my heart. I will always remember so clearly the heaviness of my heart on that morning, the morning after Yance and Elaine's wedding. Yance had stayed in my hotel room with me the night before and I will always treasure that time. We talked about Ty and how much we missed him and how hard it was to understand why he couldn't be with us to share in this most important time in Yance's life. Our hearts grieved because of that but also rejoiced in our Savior, Jesus Christ and in knowing and trusting that His plan is ALWAYS the BEST even though it isn't always the easiest. We rejoiced that Ty was now in heaven with Jesus and no longer suffering from the cancer that took over his body. We also talked about our relationship as mother and son and how that would change the next day as he became Elaine's husband. As our Lord instructs us in His Word--once we marry we are to leave mother and father and cleave to our husband or wife. The Holy Spirit had been drawing us both closer to Jesus before Ty got cancer in preparation for that journey and we loved challenging each other in our walk with our Savior. We spent lots of time in conversations about what He was teaching us and how He was helping us through the cancer journey with Ty. We had leaned on each other as we also rested in Jesus during the cancer journey so that we could be strong to help Ty keep fighting. As we talked, cried and prayed together that night, I was so excited for the new journey that Yance would begin the next day with precious Elaine, but I also knew that our relationship would be different. His allegiance and focus would now be on Elaine. His heart would belong first to Jesus and then to her. That's why the morning after their wedding was particularly difficult for me and that I felt so lonely. When Wyatt and Laurel got married Ty was still here and it was easier to let go because I still had him and Jesus to lean on. Now I just had Jesus and YES--He is enough, but I longed for and was very lonesome for that human companionship with Ty. So...my Lord's very specific words to me from I Thess. brought me much hope as He very specifically gave me instructions in what to do that morning when I truly didn't have the strength to take the next step on my new journey with Him. As I poured out my heart to Him and chose to be joyful and thankful for all His many blessings and promises, He brought joy to my heart and gave me His strength in my weakness. It's been fun to be reminded of these verses again in not only Dr. Jeremiah's devotional but also in the Bible study that we're doing in Lovely Branches. His timing is always perfect. As we near the opening of Taste and See Coffee House, He knew I needed to be reminded to be joyful, pray continually and to be thankful in the midst of being overwhelmed by all the preparations, decisions and things to learn before opening day. Again, it's not about me or us (the Lovely Branches Ministries Board) and our abilities--it's all about Jesus and relying on Him to lead and guide us in the way we should go as well as to TRUST Him to direct our paths. We can't do this in our strength, but we can do all things through Him who gives us strength. In and of myself, I'm scared to death of trying to remember how to make all the drinks, run the equipment, bake somewhere other than my kitchen, etc...but Jesus continually asks me: "Keva, do you trust Me? I have promised to do immeasurably more that you can ask or imagine. Come to me and REST--be joyful, pray continually and be thankful. Take my hand and I will lead you and give you exactly what you need to accomplish what I have called you to do!!!"

Yes, I was quite panicked after our first lesson on how to use the espresso machine. There were too many variables for my very concrete mind. I was sure that Jesus didn't intend for me to make the espresso--that I could do everything else. Well, very patiently He reminded me that fear does not come from Him and that I certainly wasn't resting and trusting in Him to help me. So... I chose to trust Him to help me and now feel much more comfortable with the machine. Now I sure wouldn't say that we're great buddies yet--I much prefer making smoothies and freezes--but I'm no longer panicked and am willing to learn. Taste and See Coffee House opened on March 25, and it has been fun to serve lots of yummy drinks and baked goods as well as to share Jesus love and compassion. It's another new journey for me on this road without Ty. I missed having him here to be excited with me as well as to encourage me when I was feeling overwhelmed. The neat thing is that he knew about the coffee house dream that Jesus gave us. He would be so excited and if he were here would have been one of the first ones in requesting that I make him a latte so I could practice!!

As far as the clothing fast goes--I'm too busy to think about shopping. I was pondering this morning which of my "old" dresses to wear on Easter. In doing so, I realized how thankful and content I am with all that I have. I wrote this is my journal on March 19: When Jesus is our HOPE and FOCUS, our needs are met and our wants become less and less. I'm finding that my desire for more things is truly diminishing. What I truly want more of is more of Jesus--to know Him better. The more time I spend in His Word as well as reading stories about what He's doing in the lives of others, the more I want to know Him. 

That continues to be my prayer for each of you--that you would hunger and thirst for more of Jesus because He is the BEST and the ANSWER for all the deepest needs of your heart. I know that I say that so much here, but it's just the TRUTH. He's loves you so much--seek Him, make Him your #1 priority above everything else. I promise that you will not be disappointed and will find true peace and freedom!!! 

As you watch the following video and listen to Jeremy Camp's song: "In His Presence", I pray that you and I will choose each day to rejoice in His love for us and to be thankful for His willingness to suffer and die for our sins so that we can have an intimate personal relationship with Him. WOW! What a blessing to be a child of the KING!!! 

Choosing Obedience

This year Jesus didn't call me specifically to any "New Year's resolutions". What He did call me to do was to fast from shopping for and buying clothes, jewelry, and shoes for a whole year. When He brought that idea to my mind the first time, I honestly tried to ignore it. Yes, as I've shared here before, Jesus has shown me that He is enough. I even shared last month how overwhelmed I am by the peace, joy and contentment that He has given me as I continue to seek and find my fulfillment and satisfaction in Him and His promises found in His Word. But He wanted something more...and, as is always the case when He's calling me to do something, He persists in confirming that calling in many ways.

One of those ways was as I was listening to Christian radio. The speaker was talking about fasting from those things that sometimes hinder our pursuit of God. Another confirmation came from my son who was led to fast also. We talked about the fact that as disciples of Jesus Christ, we rarely deprive ourselves of things in order to feast more on our Savior.

Also, during this time, I even asked, "Lord, how about if I fast for a season or two instead of a year?" His answer to that was to have me turn on the radio a few days later and hear about a family who were led to fast from all extra-curricular activities for (you guessed it) one year. He reminded me that it's at the beginning of each season that I think I "need" to get some new outfits so it made sense that He would want me to include all 4 seasons in the fast. It was then that I said "Yes, Lord, I will obey what you're calling me to do." Along with the fast, He also convicted me of staying on my budget and leaving savings where it needs to be--in savings.

A friend gave me a journal for Christmas that has written on the front: "Live in Hope." I decided to use it to record the things that my Heavenly Father teaches me and how He will provide this coming year as I choose to be obedient to my fast and follow the budget that He has shown me. I want to be real, authentic, honest and sincere in sharing this journey with you.

Am I saying that everyone needs to take a clothing fast? Not at all. I am saying that we all need to evaluate our lives and ask the Lord to show us anything that is competing with making our personal, intimate relationship with Him our #1 priority. Honestly, my budget was tight last year and is even tighter this year as fixed expenses as well as almost all other costs have gone up, but I know that my Lord just wants me to obey and TRUST in Him to provide and not trust in my savings. 
 The Lord has taught me over the years that my security, worth and contentment no longer come from what I wear or what I have. However, I also realize that I could still get caught up in some old patterns of looking at catalogs and shopping--coming home with 2 or 3 outfits instead of one because I either couldn't decide or because "it was such a good sale". It was like my Lord was asking me, "Keva--am I really enough? I just want you to test me in this and see what all I will teach you.I want you to throw out all those catalogs, to stay out of the stores and to spend that time focused more on loving and getting to know me and caring more for others. So what if you don't have something new each season--are you living for the praise of others or to honor and glorify Me?"

So began this journey. I have heard many times that if we think we can't live without something then that is probably the thing we should give up; realizing that the Lord will give us everything we need to do what He calls us to do. He was already reminding me of that when I read in a devotional by David Jeremiah on January 16--the actual date that I started both the budget and the fast. The verse shared there:
   
"Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God."  2 Corinthians 3:5

A few key points from the devotional: "Most of our worries involve a fear of insufficiency... we're concerned we don't have enough, whether food or money or health or strength. When we think of ourselves, as the source of our own sufficiency, we have reason to worry and be concerned. But as Christians, our sufficiency is from God. And GOD IS ABLE to make all grace abound toward you, that you always having ALL sufficiency in ALL things, may have an abundance for every good work."
2 Corinthians 9:8. "His grace is sufficient for us." 2 Corinthians 12:9. And then Jesus reminds us, "When we come to the end of our earthly resources, we find that His sufficiency has only begun. Remember: His grace, all sufficient, shall be our supply. Put God's promises to the test and see if His blessings don't follow. God loves to prove His faithfulness."

That was the 1st entry that went in my journal. The Lord continues to encourage me and teach me each day from His Word, from Godly men and women who minister on the radio and through books and devotionals. I would like to share some of those things with you to encourage you in your walk with Jesus. One thing I know is that I am already finding more joy in Him as I trust my finances (what He has entrusted to me) totally to Him and stay out of the clothing stores!!!

These are a few things that I read that have challenged me in the fast as well as the budget:

Thou shalt not be consumed with a desire for more. Focus on enjoying the life you've already been able to achieve--from your family and friends to the clothes in your closet (wow--our Lord is so personal and specific) and car in your garage. Wanting more doesn't breed contentment, it breeds more wanting." (I know what that's like, and it's not fun at all.)

"We buy what we don't need to impress people who don't care."

"We live too much to please and impress others. Focus on pleasing God not people."

"In eternity, we won't answer to other people about the way we spent the money God entrusted to us, we will answer only to our Heavenly Father."

A journal entry on January 22 records what I heard on the radio that day:

"Stop the indulgence of the flesh. Fasting reveals the things that control us. It humbles us. It can break a pattern that we need to break. It can break our enslavement to food or whatever has a hold on us. It can ignite our hunger for God."

I recorded these words from David Jeremiah on January 24 in my journal:

"Its great to have provision on earth, but our greatest treasure is still ahead. Don't let gold become your God or money your master. Seek 1st the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33

From the devotional "Jesus Calling" that day:

"My peace is the treasure of treasures; the pearl of great price."

I wrote in my journal that day: "Already I'm experiencing more peace as I trust everything to my Lord and am obedient. It's been fun to get the mail and throw out the catalogs immediately so I won't be tempted to buy something. I'm also finding it fun to put together outfits from what I already have and realizing that there are things that I haven't worn just because I wanted to wear something newer or more "up to date". I'll insert here that I'm not saying that it's wrong to have new things or to be fashionable. The question my Savior is asking me is: "How much do you really need?" I know that He wants to challenge me to evaluate my needs versus my wants, to focus more on Him and others, to spend less on my wants so that I can give more to other's needs.

Now back to the January 24 journal entry:

From "Jesus Calling": "If you have the world's peace--everything going your way-- you don't seek My unfathomable peace." I have more peace now with many more restrictions on my spending than I did when I wasn't following and staying on my budget. Once You, Lord, made it clear that You wanted me to depend on You, not on my savings, You have given me such a peace and joy as I choose to obey. Actually it's been fun trying to spend as little as possible and to really evaluate every purchase. I'm noticing that I'm appreciating all that I already have more and am realizing how little I really need. Our world and the pressure to compete with what others have causes us to buy what we don't really need to try to fulfill needs that only an intimate relationship with Jesus can fill.

There's so much more to share with you from my journal, but I think I've given you enough to read for this month. I'll look forward to sharing more of God's faithfulness and encouragement next month. In the meantime I challenge you to focus on eternity and on eternal treasures such as your family, friends, and other people. More important than even that--focus on Jesus and making Him the #1 priority in your life. Only then can you really be thankful, love others and care for them like He models for us in His Word.

I'll leave you with some verses that have given me direction on those days and moments when my feelings don't match up with God's promises. The Lord gave me these verses after Yance(my son) and Elaine's wedding. After a time of much joy and celebration, I was feeling very lonely for Ty and was discouraged. It was another time of wondering: "Lord, what is your will for me?" He answered very specifically by leading me to I Thessalonians 5:16-18. 

"Be joyful always, pray continuously, and be thankful for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 

I've gone back to those verses more times than I can count and have chosen to obey them--regardless of my feelings and many times with tears running down my fac. But each time I choose to be joyful and thankful and cry out to Him, He is ALWAYS FAITHFUL to give me the strength I need to take the next step of obedience, all the while never leaving my side.

A song we sang recently at our church called "My Reward" goes along perfectly with what Jesus has led me to share with you this month. As the song says:

  "Jesus, You are my reward. Could my heart contain all your love for me? You're all I need to know. Nothing compares to knowing You. Nothing compares to loving You. I'm giving my life to follow you, my King."

Katie's Challenge

There's a girl I admire very much. Her name is Katie Davis. I've mentioned her book, "Kisses from Katie" on my blog, and it is one that we've recommended on the website. I admire her because she is truly a disciple of Christ. Her passion is to follow Jesus. He led her to Uganda as a teenager then asked her to stay there to live, to eventually adopt 13 girls and to start a ministry that reaches hundreds of other children in Uganda. I want to share with you some from the introduction to her book to challenge and encourage you in this new year and then share thoughts from my heart after that. You may want to grab a cup of coffee and read my blog in a couple sessions since it will be longer this time!! Above all my prayer is always that you will be encouraged to seek Jesus more each day--He is who we all need more that anything else! Okay, lets listen to Katie's words:

I never meant to be a mother. I mean, I guess I did; not right now, though, Not before I was married. Not when I was nineteen. Not to so, so many little people. Thankfully, God's plans do not seem to be affected much by my own.

I never meant to live in Uganda, a dot on the map in East Africa, on the opposite side of the planet from my family and all that is comfortable and familiar. Thankfully, God's plans also happen to be much better than my own.

You see, Jesus wrecked my life. For as long as I could remember, I had everything this world says is important. in high school, I was class president, homecoming queen, top of my class. I dated cute boys and wore cute shoe and drove a cute soports car. I had wonderful, supportive parents who so desired my success that they would have paid for me to go to college anywhere my heart desired. BUT I loved Jesus.

And the fact that I loved Jesus was beginning to interfere with the plans I once had for my life and certainly with the plans others had for me. My heart had been apprehended by a great love, a love that compelled me to live differently. I had grown up in a Christian home, gone to church, and learned about Jesus all my life. Around the age of twelve or thirteen, I began to delve into the truths of Scripture. As I read and learned more and more of what Jesus said, I liked the lifestyle I saw around me less and less. I began to realize that God wanted more from me, and I wanted more OF HIM. He began to grow in me a desire to live intentionally, and different from anyone I had ever known.

Slowly but surely I began to realize the truth: I had loved and admired and worshiped Jesus without doing what He said. This recognition didn't happen overnight; in fact I believe it was happening in my heart long before I even knew it. It was happening as I explored the possibility of overseas volunteer work, it was happening as I took my first three-week trip to Uganda, it was happening as I fell in love with a beautiful country full of gracious, joyful people and immense poverty and squalor that begged me to do more. It was happening in so many ways, and I couldn't deny it. I wanted to actually DO what Jesus said to do.

So I quit my life.

Originally, my quitting was to be temporary, lasting just one year before I went to college and returned to normal, American teenager life. But after that year, which I spent in Uganda, returning to "normal" wasn't possible. I had seen what Life was about and I could not pretend I didn't know. So I quit my life again, and for good this time. I quit college; I quit cute designer clothes and my little yellow convertible; I quit my boyfriend. I no longer have all the things the world says are important. I do not have a retirement fund; I do not even have electricity some days. But I have everything I know is important. I have a joy and a peace that are unimaginable and can come only from a place better than this earth. I cannot fathom being happier. Jesus wrecked my life, shattered it to pieces, and put it back together more beautifully.

During the first few months I lived in Uganda, in fall of 2007, I wrote, "sometimes working in a Third World country makes me feel like I am emptying the ocean with an eyedropper." Today, it often still feels that way. I have learned to be okay with this felling because I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, change the world for one person . I can change the world for fourteen little girls and for four hundred schoolchildren and for a sick and dying grandmother and for a malnourished, neglected, abuse five-year-old. And if one person sees the love of Christ in me, it is worth every minute. In fact it is worth spending my life for.

People often ask if I think my life is dangerous, if I am afraid. I am much more afraid of remaining comfortable. Matthew 10:28 tells us not to fear things that can destroy the body but things that can destroy the soul. I am surrounded by things that can destroy the body. I interact almost daily with people who have deadly diseases, and many time I am the only person who can help them. I live in a country with one of the world's longest-running wars taking place just a few hours away. Uncertainty is everywhere. But I am living in the midst of the uncertainty and risk, amid things that can and do bring physical destruction, because I am running from things that can destroy my soul: complacency, comfort, and ignorance. I am much more terrified of living a comfortable life in a self-serving society and failing to follow Jesus than I am of any illness or tragedy.

Jesus called His followers to be a lot of things, but I have yet to find where He warned us to be safe. We are not called to be safe, we are simply promised that when we are in danger, God is right there with us. And there is not better place to be than in His hands.

For as long as I can remember, one of my favorite Bible verses has been Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I used to believe it meant that if I did what the Lord asked of me, followed His commandments, and was a "good girl," He would grant all my desires and make my dreams come trus. Today, this is still one of my favorite passages of Scripture, but I have learned to interpret it in a totally different way. It is not about God making MY dreams come true but about God changing my dreams into HIS dreams for my life.

Today I am living the desires of my heart and I cannot imagine being happier; I cannot imagine living any other life that the one that unfolds before me day by day. But believe me, I am by not means living MY plan. I thought that I wanted to go to college with my high school boyfriend, get married, have a successful career and children, settle into a nice house down the road from my parents, and live happily every after. Today I am a single woman raising a houseful of girls and trying to teach others the love of Jesus in a land that is a far cry from my hometown and my culture. This is not a life that I dreamed up on my own or even knew I desired. I am watching God work, and as I "delight myself in the Lord" by doing what he asks of me and by saying yes to the needs He places in front of me, He is CHANGING the desires for my heart and aligning them with the desires of His. As I go with Him to the hard places, He changes them into the most joyful places I could imagine.

WOW! Katie's words challenge me every time I read them. The Lord doesn't call us all to Africa, but He does call us to obedience. Like Katie, God continues to change the desires of my heart and to align them more with His. That is my prayer and desire to have a heart like His. As Katie shared, I want the dreams that I have for my life to be HIs dreams for my life. One of those dreams was to grow old with my husband, Ty. That wasn't part of God's plan for my life and yet I know because I trust Him with all my heart that His plan is always the best. It's not easy, but it's always best. Katie doesn't have an easy life by any means but she has a blessed, joy-filled life. So do I--and like Katie it's not the life I envisioned. As she said--she quit life as most of us know it. She gave up so much but gained so much more as she was obedient to go and do what God called her to do. What I have found over and over again is that when the Lord asks me to do something that seems impossible and takes me completely out of my comfort zone is when I grow the most and see Him working in my life. Katie shared this is her journal:

"Remember, God will never give you more than you can handle."

People repeat this frequently; I heard it when I was growing up and I hear it now. It is meant to be a source of encouragement, and it would be if I believed it were true.

But I don't.

I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more that we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives.

I have learned to accept it, even ask for it, this "more than I can handle." Because in these times, God shows Himself victorious. He reminds me that all of this life requires more of Him and less of me. God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see His grace and faithfulness shining through our lives.

And as I surrender these situations to Him, watch Him take over and do the impossible, I am filled with joy and peace-so much more than I can handle.

He has taken over in many situations in my life and done the impossible...when my daughter Marshay died one week before her due date, when Ty was in intensive care and I didn't know if he would live, when Ty was diagnosed with cancer and then went to be with Jesus and I was left to face life without him. In all of those times, I saw God do the impossible as I leaned on Him and His promises. He is forever faithful and I am forever thankful. In fact this morning as I was having coffee with my Savior, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. The tears came as I thanked my Lord for His joy and peace--so much more than I can handle and way beyond my understanding.

I challenge you in this new year to treasure Jesus. Seek Him above all else because only He can meet the deepest needs of your heart. Don't just tack Him on to your busy life, but make Him your life. I wasted many years focused more on the world and the things of the world  than on getting to know my Savior. I didn't understand then that in order to really get to know Jesus I would have to read His Word (his love letter to me) seeking to grow in my relationship with Him. That's different than reading out of duty or to cross "devotions" off of my list. It's desiring to know Him and making that a priority. He has shown me that He wasn't my priority for many, many years. I was so desperate for peace and contentment but I was searching for that in relationships with others and more and more "stuff". Each one of us know where our treasure really is by examining how we spend our time and what our minds are focused on. I can promise you that more of anything (clothes, vacations, money, jewelry, sports, cars,homes) will ever bring you peace, joy, and contentment. They may make you happy for awhile but then you'll just need more of something else. Only Jesus can meet every need and  give you a peace, joy and contentment that never changes even with all the ups and downs of life. You don't need "more" when you have Him. He is enough! He is amazing--He loves each of us so much! Katie said it so well: "I am filled with joy and peace-so much more than I can handle."

Psalm: 9:10 "Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord have never forsaken those who seek you."

As I was finishing up, the Lord brought the hymn, "The Solid Rock" to my mind. I found the following video by Avalon. I love all the beautiful pictures of God's creation on it as well as the Bible verses. The most exciting part for me was seeing Ty's favorite verses written at the end of the song: Proverbs 3: 5,6. Bask in the love of our Savior as you listen.