With HOPE

The Bible promises, "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, HOPE; and HOPE does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He had given us." (Romans 5:3,4) As Bill Bright says in his book Living Supernaturally in Christ, "The marvelous truth of Scripture is that for Christians, suffering leads to HOPE." He shares this story: "Irena Dragas grew up in the Croatian region of Yugoslavia. When she was 16 years old, her only brother died in a tragic car accident on his way home from a mission trip. When she was 17, war broke out and her town was attacked by militant Serbians. After days of hiding in her basement, she and her family escaped only to find themselves refugees. They traveled from place to place living in other people's homes, hiding from bombs and dodging grenades. As she viewed the destruction of cities turned into ghost towns and heard heartbreaking stories of shattered lives, she often wondered how she could find HOPE in the midst of war and death. Because she was a Christian, she often tried to force herself to feel hopeful, but only met with disappointment. Then one night she lay in bed in a sparsely furnished apartment temporarily provided to her family by a refugee agency. Although it was a few days before Christmas, there was no Christmas tree, no decorations and no momentos of cherished memories from the past. Yet suddenly joy and HOPE rushed over her. It was not a joy in her circumstances. War is horrible and the hardships she had experienced were tragic, but she realized that she could find HOPE in the One who exists beyond the circumstances. Though her life was turned upside down, God's character had not changed. His love and integrity were still the same. Even in a strange apartment in an unfamiliar city in the middle of war, she could experience HOPE because she was in the palm of God's hand." Just like Irena, I sometimes try to force myself to be hopeful and it never works. I also have experienced joy and HOPE when my circumstances seemed hopeless. The theme for the blogs this month is HOPE. Even though my hope is in Jesus, the past few days have definitely not been hopeful. It's been a time of testing like never before, and I've come very close to just giving up. I have said to Jesus many times, "Are you sure you still need me here? I really just want to be home with you and Ty." His answer is always, "Not yet--I need you to persevere awhile longer and keep trusting Me." So... even though I haven't felt like it, I chose to cry out to Him just as David did so often in the Psalms. This morning it was so exciting because He gave me two things that encouraged me and gave me HOPE. My prayer is that they will also remind you of our Savior's faithfulness and give you HOPE too! The first message of HOPE came from an article by Marty Duren called Through Good Times and Bad. Mr. Duren says, "From the first days of coming to faith in Christ, believers are taught to trust God. Often we are reminded that "simple trust in God" will get us through any of life's hardships, no matter how difficult any such trial might be. At times we find this is easy to accomplish; our faith is strong enough to help us endure whatever difficulty comes our way. At other times we waver, yet finish strong. And, then, there are still other times that we stumble, falter, struggle, and wonder if the trial is ever going to end and if our faith will survive until it does." (that's where I've been lately) Mr. Duren goes on to say, "I think there is a fine line between faith and fate. Often when I hear, "Well, God is in control," there seems to be more of a "whatever will be will be" vibe with it. It is less about following Jesus no matter what the cost than passively waiting as if we have no relationship with God at all. Perseverance is not waiting for a fated existence with which we have no interaction. Perseverance is accepting God's will for us, while intentionally and consistently interacting with Him in it--just like Job, the prophets, or the apostles. They all trusted God, yet found themselves in periods of deep struggle--the same types of trials in which we sometimes find ourselves. In a reply to his friend Eliphaz in the midst of his severe trial, Job said this about God, "If I go east, He is not there and if I go west, I cannot perceive Him. When He is at work to the north, I cannot see Him and when He turns south, I cannot find Him. Yet, He knows the way I have taken; when He has tested me, I will emerge as pure gold." (Job 23:8-10) The perseverance for which Job is known is not based on how he felt about God; it was based on the revealed character of God. It was expressed in the way that he pursued God even when God was silent. Job went on to say, "My feet have followed in His tracks; I have kept His way and not turned aside. I have not departed from the commands of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more that my daily food." (Job 23:11-12) These thoughts expressed by Mr. Duren at the end of his article are mine too. He says: "What I find when I persevere is that God never left the scene. He has never abandoned me, never left me alone. If I quit following God, I will never know the depths through which He will stay with me. It is only through persevering that I experience the fullness of His faithfulness." I know this is getting a little long, but I just can't leave out the rest of what Jesus gave me this morning. You might want to take a break and go get another cup of coffee before you finish reading!!! From Psalm 18, which if one of David's Psalms, the theme is "gratitude for deliverance and victory". Interestingly, that is what the Lord gave me this morning! Let verses 30-35 encourage you today in whatever you're going through. "As for God His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great." My Bible commentary says: "He strengthens, protects and guides us in order to send us back into an evil world to fight for Him. Then He continues to work with us because the strongest person on earth is infinitely weaker than God and needs His help. David was not a coward; he was a mighty warrior who, even with his armies and weapons, knew that only God could ultimately protect and save him. God doesn't promise to eliminate challenges; instead He promises to give us strength to meet those challenges. If He gave us no rough roads to walk, no mountains to climb and no battles to fight, we would not grow. He does not leave us alone with our challenges, however. Instead He stands beside us, teaches us, and strengthens us to face them." The past couple days Jesus has been right beside me even though He felt far away. It was hard, but I continued to seek Him and persevere even though He was silent, and I was discouraged. That perseverance led to HOPE this morning as He spoke so clearly to me. We need to continue to persevere just as Jesus did in Hebrews 12:1-3. "And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning it's shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." The "joy set before Him"? That is the key to perseverance and HOPE. Jim Henry, editor of Money Matters magazine, says: "It's the sure knowledge that there is something greater, higher, and grander out there--just beyond our sight--that makes whatever we're going through at the moment pale in comparison." Remember, this world is not home to followers of Jesus Christ. All of us who have a personal relationship with Him can look forward to the "joy set before us" of our forever home in heaven with Jesus. So...lets keep choosing each day to persevere and place our HOPE in Jesus. One day it will all be worth it when we hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." If any of you reading this do not know Jesus personally check out the HOPE page on this website. Nothing in this world offers the HOPE that a relationship with Jesus does. The song I've chosen to close with is "With Hope" by Steven Curtis Chapman. Some special friends of mine sang this at my husband, Ty's funeral. It offers so much hope to those of us who are left behind when someone we love goes home to heaven. As the song says, we can cry with hope, say good-bye with hope and let go with hope because we know it is not the end. If we have a personal relationship with Jesus we will see our loved ones again and be with them forever in heaven.

Surrender All To Jesus

Psalm 33:22 says:
"May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."

My Lord and Savior has shown His unfailing love to me again this month as He held me close and gave me comfort beyond description as I went through another Valentine's Day without Ty. I say it so often in my blog, but "God is faithful". I can say with unwavering confidence that He will ALWAYS give you EVERYTHING you need to do in whatever He calls you to do.

Before I get into the specifics of what He's been challenging me with this month, I have to share some exciting news. "Nana" is going to be blessed with another grandchild in August. My grandson, Preston, who will be 2 on March 14 will have a new 1st cousin. My son, Yance and his wife Elaine are expecting and are very excited, and I can hardly wait!!! It's so nice to have them, as well as Wyatt, Laurel and Preston, all close--only a little over an hour away!

Last month, Suzanne Hildebrand, blog writer for Heart and Home Matters (access under my Blog List to the right) mentioned and gave a summary of the book, Radical, by David Platt. She said to prepare to be challenged if you read it. Well...I read the book this month and know that Jesus wants me to share with you very honestly some of the ways it challenged me.

This comes from my journal entry on February 19. At the time I wrote this, I had no idea that Jesus would want me to share it here, but I am convinced more and more that He wants us as His followers to share our hearts with each other, to be vulnerable and to encourage each other by sharing what He's teaching us. So...from my journal:

"Wow, Lord, you continue to challenge me from the book, "Radical" by David Platt. I ask myself as David does in the book--Am I really willing to take up my cross and follow you? Am I living for the reward of the American dream--safety, security and success found in more comfort, better stuff, and greater prosperity or for the reward of Christ that calls me to live for an eternal safety, security, and satisfaction that far outweigh everything the world has to offer? Jesus, you call me to follow you and remind me of the promises of your love and care and tell me "Do not be afraid" and yet in following you, I am reminded in this book that I need to expect to be betrayed, hated, and persecuted just like you were. That's so scary, Lord, and yet what's the worst that could happen--I could die. I agree with Paul in Philippians 1:21 "For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain." In dying I would be with you forever, Lord!!! Please help me not to focus on the pain of following you in this world but on the reward of my forever home with you. Again, as David reminded me from his book: "We can rest confident in the fact that nothing will happen to us in this world apart from the gracious will of a sovereign (all-knowing) God. NOTHING! As seen in the stories of Stephen in the Bible (which as a result of his suffering and death the church multiplied throughout Judea and Samaria) as well as the story of Job--we see how Satan not only acts within the sovereign permission of God but also ends up accomplishing the sovereign purposes of God.This is what the cross is all about. Satan's strategy to defeat the Son of God only served to provide salvation for sinners." We have nothing to fear because God is sovereign (in control)! YEA!! Jesus, you know every detail of my life and you care for me deeply. You always know what's BEST for me! I have nothing to fear.

As I finished reading more in the "Radical" book, my question to you Lord is: "What are you asking me to do? What are you asking me to sacrifice? From the minute Ty was diagnosed with cancer, he was willing to die for you if that would bring you glory and draw others into a personal relationship with you. I also desire to bring honor and glory to you, Jesus, until you take me to my forever home with You.

The Lord continued to speak to me today through the devotional magazine Turning Point by David Jeremiah. More challenges came from the highlighted comments in the articles titled:

"When we've given our lives to Jesus Christ, the things of earth shall grow strangely dim."
"The more intimately we know the heart of God, the more likely we are to know how to invest our resources."
"We move beyond ourselves and our comfort zones to care for the bodies and souls of those in need."
"The more me-centered our lives, the more miserable we are."
"Only in the Christian life does surrender bring victory."

More from my journal:
Lord, you continue to challenge me with everything I read that you want my total allegiance, that you are enough, and that I don't need to be afraid because you know far better that I do what's BEST for me. Help me to be willing to risk everything for you and to be willing to suffer for the sake of the gospel. Help me to know your heart more intimately everyday so that I can hear your voice and know what your will is for me in regards to my time, money, and talents. Help me to become more and more like you, Jesus, even though that in doing so the world may hate me just as it hated you. Paul said in your Word that "everyone who wants to live a Godly life in Jesus Christ will be persecuted." You, Jesus, were betrayed, hated and persecuted.

From David in "Radical" ,"The more our lives are conformed to yours the more we will receive what you received in the world. To everyone wanting a safe, untroubled, comfortable life free from danger, stay away from Jesus. The danger in our lives will always increase in proportion to the depth of our relationship with Christ." What a challenge, Lord. You know I don't like pain and suffering and yet--since Ty's cancer and my time as a widow, you have given me such joy, peace, and contentment amidst the heartache as I have lived one day at a time trusting you and choosing to seek you regardless of my feelings. Thanks for your faithfulness, love and patience with me. Give me courage to give up everything to follow you--to continue to focus not on this world but on my forever home with You. As David says: "Radical obedience to Christ is not easy; it is dangerous. It's not comfort, not health, not wealth, and not prosperity in this world. Radical obedience risks losing all these things. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ, and He is more than enough for us. When we risk our lives and run after Christ, we discover the safety that is found only in His sovereignty, the security that is found only in His love and the satisfaction that is found only in His presence. This is the eternal great reward, and we would be foolish to settle for anything less." As Jim Elliot once said, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

So...there you have it--from my heart to yours--what Jesus has been teaching me. It gets back to the question that He asks me everyday, "Keva, am I enough?" God's Word does not promise us an easy life here, but I can promise you that the worst life with Jesus at your side is far better than the best life without Him.

Honestly, I spent alot of my life trying to find peace, joy and contentment in what the world had to offer, but those things only brought temporary happiness at best. It's only as you make Jesus your #1 priority and seek to know Him better everyday that your heart will be filled to overflowing with His amazing love, joy and peace regardless of your circumstances. NOTHING is better than that.

Please feel free to e-mail me at kevafarney@gmail.com if you have comments or questions that you don't want to put on the blog. May you also find much peace, joy and hope as you seek Jesus each day!

After listening to many songs, this one really summed up what I shared today. How can we not surrender all to Jesus who suffered and died for our sins so that we could have a relationship with Him?

Jesus Is Enough

Taste and see that the Lord is good. That is something I experience every day as I choose to rely on Him. The more I trust Him, the more I experience how good He is.

Psalm 37 has been an encouragement to me the past couple weeks. Verses 3 and 4 say "Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."

In order to taste and see that our Lord is good, we have to be seeking Him by spending time with Him in His word and in prayer (which is really just talking to Him like you would a close friend). I have found that the more time I spend with Him and get to know Him, the more I delight in Him. The life application helps from my Bible say: "David calls us to take delight in the Lord and to commit everything we have and do (our "way") to Him. How do we do this? To delight in someone means to experience great pleasure and joy in His or her presence. This happens only when we know that person well. Thus, to delight in the Lord, we must know Him better. Knowledge of God's great love for us will indeed give us delight."

The first part of verse 5 says to "Commit your way to the Lord." The application for that verse says: "to commit ourselves to the Lord means entrusting everything--our lives, families, jobs, possessions--to His control and guidance. To commit ourselves to the Lord means to trust in Him believing that He can care for us better that we can care for ourselves. We should wait patiently for Him to work out what is best for us."

Since my husband, Ty, died over a year ago, I have experienced Jesus care for me like never before. I choose to trust Him on my worst days and on my best days and He always meets my needs and loves me. Psalm 37:23,24 says: "If the Lord delights in a man's way, He will make His steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand." From the life application commentary: "The person in whom God delights is one who follows God, trusts Him and tries to do His will. God watches over and makes firm every step that person takes. If you would like to have God direct your way, then seek His advice before you step out."

It's so encouraging to me to know that God delights in me and promises to lead me, but I have to choose to trust Him and follow His leading. Jesus continues to remind me that He is enough--that no person or thing can come before Him. I continue to find that in my most lonely moments only He can give me peace, joy, and the desire to keep going. In Charles Stanley's book, "The Source of My Strength", he encouraged me with these words: "The close communion that the Lord desires and is willing to experience with us is something we can count on, even if everyone abandons us." Again, He is enough!!

Jesus continues to become dearer to me every day. I still don't like going places alone (without Ty), but those times are getting a bit easier as I lean more and more on Jesus and rest in His love for me. Also, Jesus always reminds me that I'm never alone--He's with me wherever I go!.

The following devotional taken from the book "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young talks about that reliance on Jesus. It's written as if Jesus is talking to you. "Give yourself fully to the adventure of today. Walk boldly along the path of life, relying on your ever-present companion. You have every reason to be confident, because My Presence accompanies you all the days of your life--and onward into eternity. Do not give in to fear and worry, those robbers of abundant living. Trust me enough to face problems as they come rather than trying to anticipate them. Fix your eyes on Me, the Author and Perfecter of your faith, and many difficulties on the road ahead will vanish before you reach them. Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am holding you by your right hand. Nothing can separate you from My Presence!"

It's such a comfort to me to know that Jesus is holding my hand and walking right beside me. I can say boldly and with unwavering confidence that Jesus is enough. He is the only one who can meet your needs and give you joy and a peace beyond understanding no matter what circumstances you're going through. Reach out to Him today. He is enough and He is the BEST

More Of Jesus

I trust that each of you had a peaceful Christmas as you rested in and focused on Jesus. My sons, Wyatt and Yance as well as my daughter's-in-law, Laurel and Elaine and my precious grandson, Preston were all here for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. We all missed Ty, but Jesus blessed us with a very special time together as well as with extended family and friends.

Thinking of the new year, I'm reminded that every day is a new beginning. No matter what happened or didn't happen yesterday, I can choose to wake up praising Jesus for His unconditional love and trust Him to give me strength for that day. Granted, I don't always wake up feeling like praising Jesus. Yesterday was one of those days. I don't know how many times I said, "Jesus, help me" throughout the day. He did help me as I chose to rejoice and talk to Him even though I didn't feel like it.

I went to Hutchinson last night to celebrate Christmas with Ty's Grandma Farney and other family. She and Ty shared a Christmas Eve birthday, and she is 99 years old this year. They shared many birthdays together as we would all meet at Ty's parents for breakfast to celebrate their special day. Anyway, it was a very fun evening, but I was feeling quite lonely as I headed home. The first thing I said when I got in my car was "Lord, I miss Ty so much." Then I turned on the radio and heard Dr. Stanley say that we need to be strong and courageous like Joshua. He went on to share from Joshua 1 as I drove home. When I got home and looked up the passage it was such an encouragement and reminder of how to begin the new year that I want to share it here.

Starting in Joshua 1:5 God says to Joshua "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses so I will be with you, I will never leave you nor forsake you. BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. BE STRONG AND VERY COURAGEOUS. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth, meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

As we all face new challenges and new beginnings in the New Year, God will go with us just like He went with Joshua. It was so great to be reminded of that. The life application helps from my Bible say: "Joshua's new job consisted of leading more that two million people into a strange new land and conquering it. What a challenge--even for a man of Joshua's caliber. Every new job is a challenge. Without God, it can be frightening. With God it can be a great adventure. Just as God was with Joshua, He is with us as we face challenges. We may not conquer nations, but every day we face tough situations, difficult people and temptations. God promises, however, that He will never abandon us or fail to help us. By asking God to direct us we can conquer many of like's challenges. Many people think that prosperity and success come from having power, influential personal contacts, and a relentless desire to get ahead, but the prospect of prosperity that God taught Joshua goes against such criteria. He said to succeed Joshua must

(1) BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS because the task ahead would not be easy.

(2) obey God's law, and

(3) constantly read and study the Book of the Law--God's Word.

To be successful, follow God's word's to Joshua. You may not succeed by the world's standards, but you will be a success in God's eyes--and His opinion is most important."

We need to commit everything to our Lord and Savior--our goals, ambitions, dreams, money, talents, time, health, and relationships. We need to commit to studying His Word everyday in order to get to know Him better, and we need to make glorifying Him our #1 purpose in life. As my pastor, Jim Dillon, said last Sunday, "When we make Jesus our first priority all the secondary things bring much more joy and blessing."

As Pastor Jim challenged us, I challenge you in this New Year to pray for the most important thing--more of Jesus. He promises in Jeremiah 29:13, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Life is hard, but God is ALWAYS faithful. I pray that as we begin and continue through this new year that we will become completely faithful in complete commitment to our Faithful God.

The following song was the first one I listened to as I was looking for one to share. It even had a line in it especially for me, that His love brings faith to the widow! I trust that it will bless you as you are reminded of God's love for you and how His love does bring peace, faith, and hope. As He keeps reminding me: He needs to be enough for each of us.

Jesus--The Greatest Gift

Peace, Rest, Quietness. Is that what you're experiencing during this Christmas season? During this very busy time, it's easy to be distracted by the things of this world. We can easily focus on having everything perfect from the perfectly decorated home, the perfect Christmas party, getting and giving perfect gifts and the list goes on and on. Instead our focus should be on the greatest gift--Jesus. As I mentioned last month, I was struggling, discouraged and feeling sorry for myself, but as I chose to focus on Jesus and rejoice and be thankful in spite of my feelings, He gave me peace, comfort and rest.

Recently the Lord has given me much encouragement in the book of Isaiah. Isaiah 30:15 says: "In repentance (turning away from my sin) and rest is your salvation, in quietness (at peace, to lie still, be undisturbed) and trust (confidence in who God is and what He can do) is your strength." The application helps from my Bible say: "He will give us the strength to face our difficulties. We should lay aside our busy care and endless effort and allow Him to act." He doesn't want us to be stressed this month as we prepare for His birthday. He wants us to rest in Him and allow Him to help us instead of trying to do everything on our own while hardly thinking of Him at all. Isaiah 26:3 says: "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Again, from the application helps in my Bible: "We can never avoid strife in the world around us, but with God we can know perfect peace even in turmoil. When we are devoted to Him, our whole attitude is steady and stable. Supported by God's unchanging love and mighty power, we are not shaken by the surrounding chaos. Do you want peace? Keep your thoughts on and your trust in God." Choosing to rejoice in Him and praise Him is so important. Oswald Chambers says: "our state of mind is powerful in it's effects. It can be the enemy that penetrates right into our soul and distracts our mind from God. It is incredible what enormous power there is in simple things to distract our attention away from God. Refuse to be swamped by 'the cares of the world'."

During this Christmas season, many struggle with loneliness, discouragement, unmet expectations, stress, etc... I would encourage you to go to Isaiah 41:10,13 often to be reminded of God's promises to strengthen you and help you. "So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." How awesome is that--God promises to take our hand and help us, but we have to reach out to Him. I want to choose to do that every minute of every day and to make this Christmas all about Him and loving and caring for others instead of being stressed by the never-ending "perfect Christmas to-do list."

The entry for today in the wonderful little book, Jesus Calling says so well what Jesus has been doing in my life since my husband, Ty, went home to be with Him: "Let Me infuse My peace into your intermost being. As you sit quietly in the Light of My Presence, you can sense Peace growing within you. This is not something that you accomplish through self discipline and willpower; it is opening yourself to receive My blessing.

In this age of independence, people find it hard to acknowledge their neediness. However, I have taken you along a path that has highlighted your need for Me: placing you in situations where your strengths were irrelevant and your weaknesses were glaringly evident. Through the aridity of those desert marches, I have drawn you closer and closer to Myself. You have discovered flowers of Peace blossoming in the most desolate places. You have learned to thank me for hard times and difficult journeys, trusting that through them I accomplish My best work. You have realized that needing Me is the key to knowing Me intimately which is the gift above all gifts."

I pray that each of you will experience intimacy with Jesus this Christmas season as you seek to get to know Him better each day. The peace He gives far exceeds anything this world has to offer. An intimate relationship with Jesus truly is the BEST GIFT of all.

The following song, Here With Me by Mercy Me reminds us of the love of Jesus for each one of us. I loved the verses as well as the pictures on the video. As the song says, I hope that you will feel His presence and be caught up in the wonders of His touch this Christmas.

Thankful for God's Faithfulness

Honestly, my heart is breaking right now. I don't feel like writing this blog or doing anything else for that matter. And yet... the title of my blog is "Hope in Jesus". Can I still have hope in Jesus when I am hurting and would just like to snap my fingers and be in heaven with Jesus and Ty? Even though I don't "feel" hopeful, I can choose to go back to His Word and be reminded of His faithfulness in Psalm 33:4:

"For the word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all He does."

I can also choose to go back to my journals and read of His faithfulness time after time. I just want to be very transparent with you and let you see that life is hard and many, many times I have to cry out to my Heavenly Father and express my feelings of hurt, loneliness and despair and ask Him to give me hope again. Interestingly enough, that is where I was at most of this past week-end.

Last month I shared a verse the Lord gave me from I Thessalonians 5:16-18.

"Rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Well...yesterday morning when I woke up I was feeling quite overwhelmed as I thought about facing another day and the upcoming winter months without Ty. I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and make life go away. I was again thankful that Ty and Yance got my dog, Shea, for me. I have to get up to take care of her and that includes taking her for a walk. That morning as we walked, I remembered the verse again and thanked God for the beautiful fall morning and for my family and many friends. I again was very honest in sharing my thoughts and feelings with Him. I asked Him to show me His glory and told Him that I could sure use a "God-wink" (special blessing from Him). Many times in the past, especially when Ty had cancer, He would send me a shooting star, but this particular morning the stars weren't very visible because of the full moon. I continued to walk and talk to Him, but I just didn't feel His closeness. Then, He directed me to look up and a star shot across the sky! It was so amazing. You need to understand that it has been a long time since He has blessed me with a God-wink in the form of a shooting star. He knows our hearts though, and knows when we desperately need a reminder that He hasn't forgotten about us. I praised Him again for His faithfulness as I headed back home and was even more amazed when I turned on the radio and heard the song, Wish You Were Here by Mark Harris. It made me cry as I could imagine Ty singing the words about holding onto Jesus until He takes me home. I thought, okay, I can do that. Life is so short, and I will soon be in heaven too. Again, the Lord knew what I needed and encouraged me with that song. I hope it will encourage you too as I have posted it at the bottom of this page.

You would think that after the blessings He gave me yesterday that I would be having a better day today. That's not how life works though. Each month that I write this blog, Satan tries to put me down and get me very discouraged. He doesn't want me to share about the hope I have in Jesus. That hope is there no matter how I feel. I am thankful for my friends and family who have walked this road with me since Ty's death in October of 2009. The prayers, cards, encouraging words and love have been a tremendous blessing. I especially enjoyed a very special time with my family last week-end (the first anniversary of Ty's going to his forever home with Jesus). We spent Saturday at the Wichita Zoo which was especially fun with my grandson, Preston. We all missed Ty but were glad we could be together and rejoice in our Lord's faithfulness to us this past year.

That faithfulness is what He reminded me of this morning as I read from the book, God As He Longs For You to See Him by Chip Ingram. As Chip says, "God wants us to pour out our hearts to Him to bring our problems, pain and failures to Him. That's what Jeremiah did and he found that no matter how dark or bad his circumstances, they did not match God's faithfulness."

Jeremiah wrote in Lamentations 3:21-24 "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself,
The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will wait for Him."

Chip says: "We taste God's faithfulness when we begin to trust Him with our tomorrows and then watch to see what He does. Jeremiah learned to greet each day with an assurance that the Lord was his "portion"-- that God is the one solid, unmovable, reliable part of any day. No one delivers like He does. We must learn to place our hope in Christ--not in stuff, not in good health, not in the future, not in the stock market, not in the ups and downs of dating life or marriage. Every other basis for hope will let us down. Only in Christ do we find the secret to a life of unending joy and peace, because He is the only one who will come through for us 100 percent of the time in any and every situation forever."

A. W. Tozer writes: "Upon God's faithfulness rests our whole hope of future blessedness...only as we have complete assurance that He is faithful may we live in peace and look forward with assurance to the life to come."

I am thankful for God's faithfulness. I chose to share my heart with you here not because I felt like it at all but because I knew God wanted me to. He gave me the words and the songs to share. I hope that you are encouraged and you too will run to Him even when you don't feel like it because He is faithful and will never leave you or forsake you. I'll leave you with the song, My Redeemer is Faithful and True by Steven Curtis Chapman as well as the Mark Harris song I mentioned above.

Changing Seasons with An Unchanging God

The changing seasons are one of the things I have always loved about living in Kansas. I always look forward to each one, but fall is definitely my favorite. I have now experienced going through three of the seasons without Ty.

Last year as the fall season began, Ty was still here but shortly after that time, on October 17, he went to his forever home with Jesus. It's hard to believe that it has been almost a year--a year of walking with Jesus one day at a time--many times one minute at a time. It has been a very hard year but also an encouraging year as my Savior and Best Friend has always been there for me and has provided a refuge, security and peace that is so beyond my understanding. He has been faithful as I've continued to reach out to Him regardless of my feelings. My faith has grown stronger as I've experienced Him carrying me through this time and carrying my sons and their families too. Honestly, I feel very weak most of the time, but God's Word promises that when I am weak, He will give me strength. (II Corinthians 12:9.10). How awesome that in my weakness, Jesus is strong and He is glorified more and more as I choose to move forward in His strength.

Oswald Chambers says:

Faith must be tested because it can only become our intimate possession through conflict. The ultimate thing is confidence in Jesus. Believe steadfastly on Him and everything that challenges you will strengthen your faith. Faith is absolute TRUST in God--trust that will never imagine that He would forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5-6).

I continue to ask God what His will is for me. As hard as it is to be here without Ty, I know that He still has a plan for me. Recently, He lead me to these verses in I Thessalonians 5:16-18.

"Rejoice always, pray continuously, and give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Those verses are quite clear in telling me what I need to be doing. It's definitely not easy, but I want to CHOOSE every day to be joyful, pray (talk to Jesus) continually, and give thanks in ALL circumstances. As always, when I am obedient to what Jesus asks me to do, He is faithful to give me more peace, joy and contentment than I can imagine. In the devotional book, "Jesus Calling" I was encouraged as I read this morning,

"Relax in my everlasting arms. Your weakness is an opportunity to grow strong in awareness of My Almighty Presence. Look to Me and My sufficiency; rejoice in my radiant riches that are abundantly available to help you. Go gently through this day, leaning on me and enjoying My presence. Thank Me for your neediness, which is building trust-bonds between us. If you look back on your journey thus far, you can see that days of extreme weakness have been some of your most precious times. Memories of these days are richly interwoven with golden strands of My intimate presence."

How true that has been for me. In my weakest times, Jesus has revealed Himself more clearly. Believe me, the strength, joy and peace that you see in me come from Jesus. If it weren't for Him, I would have given into the grief and loneliness that overwhelmed me so often this past year since Ty died. When I am tempted to focus on all the years on this earth that I'm missing with Ty, I am reminded of God's eternal plan and encouraged by Connie Mitchell, a widow whose husband also died after they had been married only 28 years (the same as Ty and I). She said,

"God is clearing away my short-sightedness and helping me comprehend that He has a much bigger eternal plan than I can even imagine. He knows the end of the story and someday we will see the whole picture. In the meantime I am content to trust in His goodness and love for my family and for me."

God is good and I am thankful that He never changes. As the seasons continue to change, I'm going to choose to take His hand, to rest and rely on Him and to continue to trust Him one day at a time. I pray that each of you will do the same because I can promise you that as you do, He will be faithful!

Enjoy the beautiful pictures on the video as well as the words of the song, "Be Still and Know" by Steven Curtis Chapman. When I chose this song to share I was so excited when it mentioned God's faithfulness and that He never changes. He's amazing--He even provided the perfect song to finish my blog with!