This year Jesus didn't call me specifically to any "New Year's resolutions". What He did call me to do was to fast from shopping for and buying clothes, jewelry, and shoes for a whole year. When He brought that idea to my mind the first time, I honestly tried to ignore it. Yes, as I've shared here before, Jesus has shown me that He is enough. I even shared last month how overwhelmed I am by the peace, joy and contentment that He has given me as I continue to seek and find my fulfillment and satisfaction in Him and His promises found in His Word. But He wanted something more...and, as is always the case when He's calling me to do something, He persists in confirming that calling in many ways.
One of those ways was as I was listening to Christian radio. The speaker was talking about fasting from those things that sometimes hinder our pursuit of God. Another confirmation came from my son who was led to fast also. We talked about the fact that as disciples of Jesus Christ, we rarely deprive ourselves of things in order to feast more on our Savior.
Also, during this time, I even asked, "Lord, how about if I fast for a season or two instead of a year?" His answer to that was to have me turn on the radio a few days later and hear about a family who were led to fast from all extra-curricular activities for (you guessed it) one year. He reminded me that it's at the beginning of each season that I think I "need" to get some new outfits so it made sense that He would want me to include all 4 seasons in the fast. It was then that I said "Yes, Lord, I will obey what you're calling me to do." Along with the fast, He also convicted me of staying on my budget and leaving savings where it needs to be--in savings.
A friend gave me a journal for Christmas that has written on the front: "Live in Hope." I decided to use it to record the things that my Heavenly Father teaches me and how He will provide this coming year as I choose to be obedient to my fast and follow the budget that He has shown me. I want to be real, authentic, honest and sincere in sharing this journey with you.
Am I saying that everyone needs to take a clothing fast? Not at all. I am saying that we all need to evaluate our lives and ask the Lord to show us anything that is competing with making our personal, intimate relationship with Him our #1 priority. Honestly, my budget was tight last year and is even tighter this year as fixed expenses as well as almost all other costs have gone up, but I know that my Lord just wants me to obey and TRUST in Him to provide and not trust in my savings.
The Lord has taught me over the years that my security, worth and contentment no longer come from what I wear or what I have. However, I also realize that I could still get caught up in some old patterns of looking at catalogs and shopping--coming home with 2 or 3 outfits instead of one because I either couldn't decide or because "it was such a good sale". It was like my Lord was asking me, "Keva--am I really enough? I just want you to test me in this and see what all I will teach you.I want you to throw out all those catalogs, to stay out of the stores and to spend that time focused more on loving and getting to know me and caring more for others. So what if you don't have something new each season--are you living for the praise of others or to honor and glorify Me?"
So began this journey. I have heard many times that if we think we can't live without something then that is probably the thing we should give up; realizing that the Lord will give us everything we need to do what He calls us to do. He was already reminding me of that when I read in a devotional by David Jeremiah on January 16--the actual date that I started both the budget and the fast. The verse shared there:
"Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God." 2 Corinthians 3:5
A few key points from the devotional: "Most of our worries involve a fear of insufficiency... we're concerned we don't have enough, whether food or money or health or strength. When we think of ourselves, as the source of our own sufficiency, we have reason to worry and be concerned. But as Christians, our sufficiency is from God. And GOD IS ABLE to make all grace abound toward you, that you always having ALL sufficiency in ALL things, may have an abundance for every good work."
2 Corinthians 9:8. "His grace is sufficient for us." 2 Corinthians 12:9. And then Jesus reminds us, "When we come to the end of our earthly resources, we find that His sufficiency has only begun. Remember: His grace, all sufficient, shall be our supply. Put God's promises to the test and see if His blessings don't follow. God loves to prove His faithfulness."
That was the 1st entry that went in my journal. The Lord continues to encourage me and teach me each day from His Word, from Godly men and women who minister on the radio and through books and devotionals. I would like to share some of those things with you to encourage you in your walk with Jesus. One thing I know is that I am already finding more joy in Him as I trust my finances (what He has entrusted to me) totally to Him and stay out of the clothing stores!!!
These are a few things that I read that have challenged me in the fast as well as the budget:
Thou shalt not be consumed with a desire for more. Focus on enjoying the life you've already been able to achieve--from your family and friends to the clothes in your closet (wow--our Lord is so personal and specific) and car in your garage. Wanting more doesn't breed contentment, it breeds more wanting." (I know what that's like, and it's not fun at all.)
"We buy what we don't need to impress people who don't care."
"We live too much to please and impress others. Focus on pleasing God not people."
"In eternity, we won't answer to other people about the way we spent the money God entrusted to us, we will answer only to our Heavenly Father."
A journal entry on January 22 records what I heard on the radio that day:
"Stop the indulgence of the flesh. Fasting reveals the things that control us. It humbles us. It can break a pattern that we need to break. It can break our enslavement to food or whatever has a hold on us. It can ignite our hunger for God."
I recorded these words from David Jeremiah on January 24 in my journal:
"Its great to have provision on earth, but our greatest treasure is still ahead. Don't let gold become your God or money your master. Seek 1st the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33
From the devotional "Jesus Calling" that day:
"My peace is the treasure of treasures; the pearl of great price."
I wrote in my journal that day: "Already I'm experiencing more peace as I trust everything to my Lord and am obedient. It's been fun to get the mail and throw out the catalogs immediately so I won't be tempted to buy something. I'm also finding it fun to put together outfits from what I already have and realizing that there are things that I haven't worn just because I wanted to wear something newer or more "up to date". I'll insert here that I'm not saying that it's wrong to have new things or to be fashionable. The question my Savior is asking me is: "How much do you really need?" I know that He wants to challenge me to evaluate my needs versus my wants, to focus more on Him and others, to spend less on my wants so that I can give more to other's needs.
Now back to the January 24 journal entry:
From "Jesus Calling": "If you have the world's peace--everything going your way-- you don't seek My unfathomable peace." I have more peace now with many more restrictions on my spending than I did when I wasn't following and staying on my budget. Once You, Lord, made it clear that You wanted me to depend on You, not on my savings, You have given me such a peace and joy as I choose to obey. Actually it's been fun trying to spend as little as possible and to really evaluate every purchase. I'm noticing that I'm appreciating all that I already have more and am realizing how little I really need. Our world and the pressure to compete with what others have causes us to buy what we don't really need to try to fulfill needs that only an intimate relationship with Jesus can fill.
There's so much more to share with you from my journal, but I think I've given you enough to read for this month. I'll look forward to sharing more of God's faithfulness and encouragement next month. In the meantime I challenge you to focus on eternity and on eternal treasures such as your family, friends, and other people. More important than even that--focus on Jesus and making Him the #1 priority in your life. Only then can you really be thankful, love others and care for them like He models for us in His Word.
I'll leave you with some verses that have given me direction on those days and moments when my feelings don't match up with God's promises. The Lord gave me these verses after Yance(my son) and Elaine's wedding. After a time of much joy and celebration, I was feeling very lonely for Ty and was discouraged. It was another time of wondering: "Lord, what is your will for me?" He answered very specifically by leading me to I Thessalonians 5:16-18.
"Be joyful always, pray continuously, and be thankful for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
I've gone back to those verses more times than I can count and have chosen to obey them--regardless of my feelings and many times with tears running down my fac. But each time I choose to be joyful and thankful and cry out to Him, He is ALWAYS FAITHFUL to give me the strength I need to take the next step of obedience, all the while never leaving my side.
A song we sang recently at our church called "My Reward" goes along perfectly with what Jesus has led me to share with you this month. As the song says:
"Jesus, You are my reward. Could my heart contain all your love for me? You're all I need to know. Nothing compares to knowing You. Nothing compares to loving You. I'm giving my life to follow you, my King."
