It was a journey I would not have chosen for myself or my family 2 ½ years ago. Yet it was one God chose to allow us to travel; though not alone. He would go with us every step of the way. I want to share that journey with you but first let me go back to 1981.
My husband, Ty, and I were married on December 19, 1981. We basically knew each other all of our lives since our parents were friends, and we often were together as families. We’ve lived in Stafford, Kansas most of our married life. Our sons, Wyatt and Yance were born in 1985 and 1989. We also had a stillborn daughter, Marshay, in 1987 who died a week before her due date. That was a very difficult time, but we leaned on each other, and Jesus carried us and gave us strength and hope one day at a time. Ty worked for the Stafford Recreation Commission and Texaco Oil before he started working at a bank in Hudson and then the Farmer’s National Bank in Stafford. He also enjoyed farming and raising cattle. I worked at the FSA office in St. John, Kansas until Wyatt was born and then was blessed to stay home with him. It was a joy for both Ty and I to raise our boys and teach them about Jesus’ love. Homeschooling for 4 years was a fun and challenging adventure for all of us. I cherish that extra time I had with the boys. Wyatt and Yance both attended high school at Stafford. Wyatt then went to Kansas State University and Yance went to Oklahoma State University. Wyatt is married to Laurel, and they have a son named Preston who is almost 10 months old. Yance is engaged to Elaine Enix. They will both graduate from OSU in May and will be married on August 14, 2010.
We have always been a close family. The boys spent a lot of time helping Ty on the farm and learned to work hard. As a family a highlight of every year is going to Horn Creek, a family camp in Colorado. We look forward to seeing many special friends there each summer.
In March of 2007 we started down a new road. This is when the 2 ½ year journey began. Life as we knew it changed dramatically. Ty and I were always avid exercisers. We jogged together regularly early in the mornings. During January and February of 2007, Ty was having some problems breathing whenever we would go jogging. He thought it was just a cold, but when he went to the doctor we found out that he had non-smokers lung cancer. To make a long story short, the original diagnosis was that he had 4-8 months to live, but he went on to live for a little over 2 ½ years. He died on October 17, 2009. We would have celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary on December 19th and Ty’s 52nd birthday on December 24th. As I write now, it’s still hard to believe that Ty’s cancer battle went on that long. He was on some type of chemotherapy all of that time and at one point had radiation when the cancer spread to his brain. I went with him for most of his treatments which were 45 miles away from our home at the Hutchinson Clinic. We wanted to spend as much time together as possible. Needless to say, it was a very difficult time. Our emotions were on quite a roller coaster. From the beginning, we as a family chose to praise our Lord and Savior through our “storm”. Yance reminded us right from the beginning that just as our Lord had provided enough manna for the children of Israel one day at a time in their wilderness journey He would provide daily for us what we would need for our wilderness journey. Jesus wanted us to trust Him one day at a time, and He gave us strength, peace, and hope each day for 2 ½ years. We prayed often for healing but didn’t know if that healing would come here or in heaven. Ty was amazing through it all. He didn’t complain about all the medicines, side effects, and pain. We just tried to keep on living as normal lives as possible and enjoyed every minute the Lord gave us together. It was so hard to watch Ty suffer and not be able to make it better for him. I’ll always treasure the words he spoke to me near the end as I wanted so badly to help him feel better. He said, “Honey, you’re doing a great job.” My heart broke when he could no longer say I love you like he always had many times a day. I’m so thankful that he is no longer in pain and is with Jesus, but I miss him so much.
Ty loved Jesus, and he cared for people. My desire as I write on this blog is to share about the hope that Ty and I had in Jesus during that 2 ½ year journey. And as my journey now continues on here without Ty I want to share with you how Jesus continues to bring me hope one day at a time as I choose to seek Him in His Word.
In Beyond The Sorrow Tammy Trent shares the following, after her husband died:
“From generation to generation, God has revealed Himself as a personal God who wants an intimate relationship with each one of us. He wants us to know Him, talk to Him and trust Him.”
One of the verses I go to often is Deuteronomy 31:8 NLT
“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord is the one who goes before you. He will be with you; He will neither fail you or forsake you.”
I rest in the fact that God will never let me down. I can’t understand why Ty had to die, but I do know that God is in control and I can trust Him. The Bible says that God’s thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8). Nancy Leigh DeMoss says in her book Surrender
“The will of God is exactly what we would choose if we knew what God knows.”
In this new beginning without Ty I am reminded that Jesus is always by my side. I’m encouraged by Ty’s favorite verses: Proverbs 3:5-6
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
I look forward to traveling this new road with you and finding hope in Jesus together.
