The changing seasons are one of the things I have always loved about living in Kansas. I always look forward to each one, but fall is definitely my favorite. I have now experienced going through three of the seasons without Ty.
Last year as the fall season began, Ty was still here but shortly after that time, on October 17, he went to his forever home with Jesus. It's hard to believe that it has been almost a year--a year of walking with Jesus one day at a time--many times one minute at a time. It has been a very hard year but also an encouraging year as my Savior and Best Friend has always been there for me and has provided a refuge, security and peace that is so beyond my understanding. He has been faithful as I've continued to reach out to Him regardless of my feelings. My faith has grown stronger as I've experienced Him carrying me through this time and carrying my sons and their families too. Honestly, I feel very weak most of the time, but God's Word promises that when I am weak, He will give me strength. (II Corinthians 12:9.10). How awesome that in my weakness, Jesus is strong and He is glorified more and more as I choose to move forward in His strength.
Oswald Chambers says:
Faith must be tested because it can only become our intimate possession through conflict. The ultimate thing is confidence in Jesus. Believe steadfastly on Him and everything that challenges you will strengthen your faith. Faith is absolute TRUST in God--trust that will never imagine that He would forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5-6).
I continue to ask God what His will is for me. As hard as it is to be here without Ty, I know that He still has a plan for me. Recently, He lead me to these verses in I Thessalonians 5:16-18.
"Rejoice always, pray continuously, and give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
Those verses are quite clear in telling me what I need to be doing. It's definitely not easy, but I want to CHOOSE every day to be joyful, pray (talk to Jesus) continually, and give thanks in ALL circumstances. As always, when I am obedient to what Jesus asks me to do, He is faithful to give me more peace, joy and contentment than I can imagine. In the devotional book, "Jesus Calling" I was encouraged as I read this morning,
"Relax in my everlasting arms. Your weakness is an opportunity to grow strong in awareness of My Almighty Presence. Look to Me and My sufficiency; rejoice in my radiant riches that are abundantly available to help you. Go gently through this day, leaning on me and enjoying My presence. Thank Me for your neediness, which is building trust-bonds between us. If you look back on your journey thus far, you can see that days of extreme weakness have been some of your most precious times. Memories of these days are richly interwoven with golden strands of My intimate presence."
How true that has been for me. In my weakest times, Jesus has revealed Himself more clearly. Believe me, the strength, joy and peace that you see in me come from Jesus. If it weren't for Him, I would have given into the grief and loneliness that overwhelmed me so often this past year since Ty died. When I am tempted to focus on all the years on this earth that I'm missing with Ty, I am reminded of God's eternal plan and encouraged by Connie Mitchell, a widow whose husband also died after they had been married only 28 years (the same as Ty and I). She said,
"God is clearing away my short-sightedness and helping me comprehend that He has a much bigger eternal plan than I can even imagine. He knows the end of the story and someday we will see the whole picture. In the meantime I am content to trust in His goodness and love for my family and for me."
God is good and I am thankful that He never changes. As the seasons continue to change, I'm going to choose to take His hand, to rest and rely on Him and to continue to trust Him one day at a time. I pray that each of you will do the same because I can promise you that as you do, He will be faithful!
Enjoy the beautiful pictures on the video as well as the words of the song, "Be Still and Know" by Steven Curtis Chapman. When I chose this song to share I was so excited when it mentioned God's faithfulness and that He never changes. He's amazing--He even provided the perfect song to finish my blog with!
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