Katie's Challenge

There's a girl I admire very much. Her name is Katie Davis. I've mentioned her book, "Kisses from Katie" on my blog, and it is one that we've recommended on the website. I admire her because she is truly a disciple of Christ. Her passion is to follow Jesus. He led her to Uganda as a teenager then asked her to stay there to live, to eventually adopt 13 girls and to start a ministry that reaches hundreds of other children in Uganda. I want to share with you some from the introduction to her book to challenge and encourage you in this new year and then share thoughts from my heart after that. You may want to grab a cup of coffee and read my blog in a couple sessions since it will be longer this time!! Above all my prayer is always that you will be encouraged to seek Jesus more each day--He is who we all need more that anything else! Okay, lets listen to Katie's words:

I never meant to be a mother. I mean, I guess I did; not right now, though, Not before I was married. Not when I was nineteen. Not to so, so many little people. Thankfully, God's plans do not seem to be affected much by my own.

I never meant to live in Uganda, a dot on the map in East Africa, on the opposite side of the planet from my family and all that is comfortable and familiar. Thankfully, God's plans also happen to be much better than my own.

You see, Jesus wrecked my life. For as long as I could remember, I had everything this world says is important. in high school, I was class president, homecoming queen, top of my class. I dated cute boys and wore cute shoe and drove a cute soports car. I had wonderful, supportive parents who so desired my success that they would have paid for me to go to college anywhere my heart desired. BUT I loved Jesus.

And the fact that I loved Jesus was beginning to interfere with the plans I once had for my life and certainly with the plans others had for me. My heart had been apprehended by a great love, a love that compelled me to live differently. I had grown up in a Christian home, gone to church, and learned about Jesus all my life. Around the age of twelve or thirteen, I began to delve into the truths of Scripture. As I read and learned more and more of what Jesus said, I liked the lifestyle I saw around me less and less. I began to realize that God wanted more from me, and I wanted more OF HIM. He began to grow in me a desire to live intentionally, and different from anyone I had ever known.

Slowly but surely I began to realize the truth: I had loved and admired and worshiped Jesus without doing what He said. This recognition didn't happen overnight; in fact I believe it was happening in my heart long before I even knew it. It was happening as I explored the possibility of overseas volunteer work, it was happening as I took my first three-week trip to Uganda, it was happening as I fell in love with a beautiful country full of gracious, joyful people and immense poverty and squalor that begged me to do more. It was happening in so many ways, and I couldn't deny it. I wanted to actually DO what Jesus said to do.

So I quit my life.

Originally, my quitting was to be temporary, lasting just one year before I went to college and returned to normal, American teenager life. But after that year, which I spent in Uganda, returning to "normal" wasn't possible. I had seen what Life was about and I could not pretend I didn't know. So I quit my life again, and for good this time. I quit college; I quit cute designer clothes and my little yellow convertible; I quit my boyfriend. I no longer have all the things the world says are important. I do not have a retirement fund; I do not even have electricity some days. But I have everything I know is important. I have a joy and a peace that are unimaginable and can come only from a place better than this earth. I cannot fathom being happier. Jesus wrecked my life, shattered it to pieces, and put it back together more beautifully.

During the first few months I lived in Uganda, in fall of 2007, I wrote, "sometimes working in a Third World country makes me feel like I am emptying the ocean with an eyedropper." Today, it often still feels that way. I have learned to be okay with this felling because I have learned that I will not change the world. Jesus will do that. I can, however, change the world for one person . I can change the world for fourteen little girls and for four hundred schoolchildren and for a sick and dying grandmother and for a malnourished, neglected, abuse five-year-old. And if one person sees the love of Christ in me, it is worth every minute. In fact it is worth spending my life for.

People often ask if I think my life is dangerous, if I am afraid. I am much more afraid of remaining comfortable. Matthew 10:28 tells us not to fear things that can destroy the body but things that can destroy the soul. I am surrounded by things that can destroy the body. I interact almost daily with people who have deadly diseases, and many time I am the only person who can help them. I live in a country with one of the world's longest-running wars taking place just a few hours away. Uncertainty is everywhere. But I am living in the midst of the uncertainty and risk, amid things that can and do bring physical destruction, because I am running from things that can destroy my soul: complacency, comfort, and ignorance. I am much more terrified of living a comfortable life in a self-serving society and failing to follow Jesus than I am of any illness or tragedy.

Jesus called His followers to be a lot of things, but I have yet to find where He warned us to be safe. We are not called to be safe, we are simply promised that when we are in danger, God is right there with us. And there is not better place to be than in His hands.

For as long as I can remember, one of my favorite Bible verses has been Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I used to believe it meant that if I did what the Lord asked of me, followed His commandments, and was a "good girl," He would grant all my desires and make my dreams come trus. Today, this is still one of my favorite passages of Scripture, but I have learned to interpret it in a totally different way. It is not about God making MY dreams come true but about God changing my dreams into HIS dreams for my life.

Today I am living the desires of my heart and I cannot imagine being happier; I cannot imagine living any other life that the one that unfolds before me day by day. But believe me, I am by not means living MY plan. I thought that I wanted to go to college with my high school boyfriend, get married, have a successful career and children, settle into a nice house down the road from my parents, and live happily every after. Today I am a single woman raising a houseful of girls and trying to teach others the love of Jesus in a land that is a far cry from my hometown and my culture. This is not a life that I dreamed up on my own or even knew I desired. I am watching God work, and as I "delight myself in the Lord" by doing what he asks of me and by saying yes to the needs He places in front of me, He is CHANGING the desires for my heart and aligning them with the desires of His. As I go with Him to the hard places, He changes them into the most joyful places I could imagine.

WOW! Katie's words challenge me every time I read them. The Lord doesn't call us all to Africa, but He does call us to obedience. Like Katie, God continues to change the desires of my heart and to align them more with His. That is my prayer and desire to have a heart like His. As Katie shared, I want the dreams that I have for my life to be HIs dreams for my life. One of those dreams was to grow old with my husband, Ty. That wasn't part of God's plan for my life and yet I know because I trust Him with all my heart that His plan is always the best. It's not easy, but it's always best. Katie doesn't have an easy life by any means but she has a blessed, joy-filled life. So do I--and like Katie it's not the life I envisioned. As she said--she quit life as most of us know it. She gave up so much but gained so much more as she was obedient to go and do what God called her to do. What I have found over and over again is that when the Lord asks me to do something that seems impossible and takes me completely out of my comfort zone is when I grow the most and see Him working in my life. Katie shared this is her journal:

"Remember, God will never give you more than you can handle."

People repeat this frequently; I heard it when I was growing up and I hear it now. It is meant to be a source of encouragement, and it would be if I believed it were true.

But I don't.

I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more that we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives.

I have learned to accept it, even ask for it, this "more than I can handle." Because in these times, God shows Himself victorious. He reminds me that all of this life requires more of Him and less of me. God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see His grace and faithfulness shining through our lives.

And as I surrender these situations to Him, watch Him take over and do the impossible, I am filled with joy and peace-so much more than I can handle.

He has taken over in many situations in my life and done the impossible...when my daughter Marshay died one week before her due date, when Ty was in intensive care and I didn't know if he would live, when Ty was diagnosed with cancer and then went to be with Jesus and I was left to face life without him. In all of those times, I saw God do the impossible as I leaned on Him and His promises. He is forever faithful and I am forever thankful. In fact this morning as I was having coffee with my Savior, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. The tears came as I thanked my Lord for His joy and peace--so much more than I can handle and way beyond my understanding.

I challenge you in this new year to treasure Jesus. Seek Him above all else because only He can meet the deepest needs of your heart. Don't just tack Him on to your busy life, but make Him your life. I wasted many years focused more on the world and the things of the world  than on getting to know my Savior. I didn't understand then that in order to really get to know Jesus I would have to read His Word (his love letter to me) seeking to grow in my relationship with Him. That's different than reading out of duty or to cross "devotions" off of my list. It's desiring to know Him and making that a priority. He has shown me that He wasn't my priority for many, many years. I was so desperate for peace and contentment but I was searching for that in relationships with others and more and more "stuff". Each one of us know where our treasure really is by examining how we spend our time and what our minds are focused on. I can promise you that more of anything (clothes, vacations, money, jewelry, sports, cars,homes) will ever bring you peace, joy, and contentment. They may make you happy for awhile but then you'll just need more of something else. Only Jesus can meet every need and  give you a peace, joy and contentment that never changes even with all the ups and downs of life. You don't need "more" when you have Him. He is enough! He is amazing--He loves each of us so much! Katie said it so well: "I am filled with joy and peace-so much more than I can handle."

Psalm: 9:10 "Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord have never forsaken those who seek you."

As I was finishing up, the Lord brought the hymn, "The Solid Rock" to my mind. I found the following video by Avalon. I love all the beautiful pictures of God's creation on it as well as the Bible verses. The most exciting part for me was seeing Ty's favorite verses written at the end of the song: Proverbs 3: 5,6. Bask in the love of our Savior as you listen.

Jesus--Our Great Burden-Bearer

     I'm beginning this year very contemplative. The Lord has taught me so much in the past year about trusting Him, relying on him, and desiring Him more than anything or anyone. It's now been almost 3 1/2 years since Ty went "home" to heaven. Our kids (who are now adults) and their families were here for Christmas Eve morning. We had a blessed time. It was the best Christmas since Ty's death. The Lord has brought much healing to all of our hearts. I trusted Him moment by moment as I prepared for the time that we would have together as a family. Christmas has always been a hard time for me because of the expectations I put on  myself to make it perfect for everyone, to have all the right food, gifts, parties, decorations, etc.... It's always been a time where I never feel like I measure up to the "perfect Christmas experience" that I have created in my mind. It's also because I compare myself to others which I've talked about before here and which is something we should never do! Then after Ty died, I put even more pressure on myself to try to somehow make-up for his absence so that it wouldn't be so hard for my sons and their families. 
    Anyway, I'm so thankful for my Lord's patience and compassion. My son Yance's words to me early in the Christmas season helped me to change my focus. "Mom, do you really think that you're so important that you are capable of making Christmas perfect for everyone? That's not your responsibility." I realized that I was carrying way too much on my shoulders and that the Lord was wanting me to cast my cares on Him--to come to Him--weary and burdened and that He would give me rest. So...that's what I did--moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day all the way through December, and it was the best Christmas ever. 
   Decisions are always hard for me, but I chose to believe His promise to me in Psalm 73:23,24. "Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory." How personal and awesome is that?! All through the Christmas season I trusted Him to guide me, and I held tightly to His hand. He guided me and gave me much joy as I picked out gifts for my precious grandchildren and gifts for my sons and their wives that would help them remember Ty. 
   A couple other verses that helped me through this time were Psalm 121:1-2 "I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." These verses which are part of the song, "Praise You in the Storm" were such an encouragement to Ty and I during Ty's cancer. He was our help then and was my help now as I journeyed through December--on the 19th which would have been Ty and my 31st wedding anniversary as well as December 24th which would have been Ty's 55th birthday. 

"Holy Father, my precious Savior, You are so faithful." Your faithfulness was our focus on Christmas Eve as we as a family remembered Ty on his birthday and celebrated the years that we were blessed with his presence and all that we learned from him. We also celebrated your birth, Jesus and the hope that we have in You--that You were willing to come to the earth to live and die for our sins so that we could have a personal, intimate relationship with You. 

Much healing has taken place since October 17, 2009 when Ty went home to be with his Savior, Jesus Christ. We all still miss him so much, but this Christmas was truly a time of celebration--celebrating new beginnings and new memories as we focus on our Lord's plans for our future. Watching Preston, James, and Clara open their gifts and play together was one of those precious new memories. Grandchildren are such a blessing!!!
   Now that Christmas is over and we start a new year, I trust that it will be one of building many happy memories with your family and friends. I want to encourage you in this new year to cast all your burdens on Jesus because He cares for you. Speaking from experience--He is the great burden-bearer. Find hope in these verses from Psalm 145:13b-14. "The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down." The life application commentary for these verses as well as for other verses from this Psalm sum up so well all that the Lord has done for me over and over again and continues to do as I depend on Him minute by minute and trust in Him with ALL MY HEART:

"Sometimes our burdens seem more that we can bear, and we wonder how we can go on. David stands at this bleak intersection of life's road and points toward the Lord, the great burden-bearer. God is able to lift us up because (1) His greatness is unfathomable (145:3); (2) He does mighty acts across many generations (145:4); (3) He is full of glorious splendor and majesty (145:5); (4) He does wonderful and awesome works (145:5,6); (5) He is righteous (145:7); (6) He is gracious, compassionate, patient and loving (145:8,9); (7) He rules over an everlasting Kingdom (145:13); (8) He is our source of all our daily needs (145:15,16); (9) He is righteous and loving in all His dealings (145:17); (10) He remains near to those who call on Him (145:18); (11) He hears our cries and saves us(145:19,20). If you are bending under a burden and feel that you are about to fail, turn to God for help. He is ready to lift you up and bear your burdens."

    How's that for a Psalm of amazing promises to claim in this new year? I'm so thankful that in this uncertain, fearful world that we have a faithful God who promises to never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5) I also was reminded of this verse in the new year; 2 Chronicles 16:9 says: "For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." As Chuck Bentley said in the devotional book "God Is Faithful": 

"May this be the year that you become completely faithful in complete commitment to our Faithful God." 

   The words of the following song, "The Hurt and the Healer" have been so true in my life. The Lord truly has breathed my heart back to life even though a part of me has died.That has happened  as I have kept my eyes completely fixed on Him. As the song also says, "fall into his open arms". That's what I have done and continue to do. I pray that each of you will do that on the easy days and on the hard days. Our Lord longs to meet our every need!!!